Voice of Real Australia is a regular newsletter from Australian Community Media, which has journalists in every state and territory. Today's is written by Illawarra Mercury journalist Kate McIlwain.
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There's a pile of plastic bags in my garage - and more under my sink - making me feel terrible.
Until now, I was collecting them to drop off at Woolworths' REDCycle bin.
But, scrolling through my phone last week, the story about the soft plastic recycling scheme's collapse popped up.
Since June, apparently, REDcycle has not been able to recycle the plastic - up to five million items a day - which it has been collecting from the public drop-off points at nearly 2000 supermarkets.
Now the collection program has been suspended - there's nowhere for the bags piling up in my house to go.
It makes a knot of dread form in my stomach.
I've opened the drawer storing the plastic bags a few times in the past few days, and then quietly closed it. I can't bring myself to take them out and put them into the landfill bin.
Like a lot of people, I have climate anxiety.
I know one day my four-year-old - who diligently picks up litter 'because it makes the earth hurt' - is going to realise the extent of what we've done to this planet and what we haven't done to try and change things.
So I do what I can.
Separate my recycling, use FOGO (food organics and garden organics), grow veggies of our own, limit car trips, buy second hand, make choices about what we buy, choose reusable options etc.
Since FOGO and soft-plastics recycling have been part of our normal routine, it's been good to see how little we actually put in our red landfill bin each week.
But the REDCycle collapse has made me wonder what any of this is actually doing.
I know the theory about how small actions can make a difference if enough people do them, but when I imagine the masses upon masses of collected plastic bags piling up in a warehouse I feel sick.
I've saw that Federal Environment Minister Tanya Plibersek commented, saying that it "shouldn't be beyond these big supermarkets to come up with a viable solution to allow Australians to continue to recycle".
"I expect Coles and Woolworths to step up and indicate how they will deal with soft plastic recycling," she said. "We're happy to work with them to achieve this."
And that's good to hear, because honestly, it is companies and governments who need to drive this change.
The REDCycle collapse is also a reminder that we shouldn't rely on recycling to reduce waste - we should instead be stopping the problem before it starts by cutting out our use of soft plastics and any other single use items.
Again, that's headache inducing, and easier said than done for individuals living within this system where waste is rife. Even when being mindful - taking our own shopping bags, avoiding things with excess packaging, reusing - the soft plastics bin under the sink fills up fast.
The NSW Government's extension of the plastics ban is a good start towards getting rid of a few more plastic items (and it was also great to hear the state Environment Minister talking about a possible multi-state intervention in the REDCycle situation).
But there are still so many exceptions and caveats to what's actually allowed (plastic straws on juice poppers are apparently not a problem?!) and I'm yet to see much of a change from individual businesses in terms of single-use items.
An expert in the field of recycling science, Professor Veena Sahajwalla, from the University of NSW reckons we need "a more coordinated, systematic process" for recycling.
"This includes having stronger 'product stewardship', where producers of products and users of products are more accountable for when they come to their so-called end of life, and better collection and recycling, using new technologies to extract and reform the valuable elements they contain," she says.
That sounds great, and urgent. Can we get on it?
While we wait for something big to change - and for someone to step in and find a replacement for REDCycle - I think I might keep my small, growing pile of soft plastics.
Partially to see if I can reuse any of it. Partially because I don't know what else to do.
And partially as a reminder that we should actually feel terrible about the ever-growing problem we all face unless we start dealing with it better.
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