The trouble with plastic is that it tastes like plastic. The trouble with corn is that it’s favour fades as soon as it’s picked.
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Buy plastic-covered corn cobs and they will have a delicious plastic flavour when you eat them, as their own flavour will have vanished. Buy corn cobs with withered husks, and you won’t taste anything much either - and get tough bits of corn, remarkably like plastic, stuck between your teeth.
Eat frozen corn and somehow, magically, it will also taste of plastic, as well as being soggy. Grow your own corn cobs and eat them - or have a kindly neighbour throw some cobs over the fence, or buy from a farmer’s market where the corn was picked the night before, and you will taste corn. Glorious, incredible corn.
Modern corn varieties are sweeter than old-fashioned ones, where you needed to dash from pot to pot, but this just means you taste the sugar, not the corn. Few people in Australia have ever tasted fresh, dribble-worthy corn, old-fashioned corn varieties so good that I only ever grow a small plot of each year, or else I will eat vast amounts of it.
I am living proof that vast amounts of fresh healthy food can pile on the kilos. Especially corn. And new potatoes with their skins rubbed with just a little olive oil, baked, then dusted with the smallest amount of rock salt. Or really big potatoes spiked with slivers of garlic and baked with olive oil and even more fresh corn, no butter or salt needed as they are only added to give the flavour corn doesn’t need, especially when the kernels are so fresh and tender they burst at the first tooth touch. (Editor, please remove traces of drool.)
Corn is worth growing. It is even worth growing now, and there are varieties that will crop in 65-75 hot days, and I predict (as does the cloud of small moths that hatched this afternoon) that we have a good stretch of summer and autumn still before us, ready for corn growing and corn eating.
Just think of corn as a grass. Which it is. Think what your lawn loves, water, feeding, water, feeding. As corn grows to knee-high you can grow apple cucumbers or pumpkins or zucchini around its stems, which will also enjoy the high-tucker, high-water regime. In fact, corn will grow with little food and little water, but it won’t grow much, and your cobs will be miserable looking too.
Plant a patch every two to three weeks for avid corn eaters, or plant more when the first lot are almost level with your knees. Don't plant your corn in rows - remember it is pollinated by the wind. Plant it close together in a block instead or you won't get well-filled cobs.
Seedlings emerge in six to 14 days. You can’t miss them, each questing green leaves. Heliothis caterpillars burrow into the ears and eat the kernels. Check ears for droppings and 'sawdust' like deposits. Wipe the silk with mineral oil once a week to deter them or just squash them.
Corn is ready when the kernels are filled - but if you wait too long the corn gets tougher and starchier and is not as sweet. Check the tassels first - when they JUST start to dry off, peel back the papery covering and look at the top of the cob (squash any lingering caterpillars). When the kernels are yellowish just below the tip - but not quite at the tip - pick at once and race it to the pot. Another way to check ripeness is to squeeze one of the kernels. If it's milky, the cob is ready to eat.
If you have too-fresh corn (unlikely), ‘milk' the kernels and freeze the juice - add to any soup or stew for protein and thickening.
Corn is one of the few veg that can be simply boiled - don’t add salt to the water, even if you are a salt addict, or it will toughen. Wait till the water has boiled; add the cobs husk and all; boil five minutes then pour the whole lot into the sink and wearing a heat mitt, peel off the husk and tassels, serve and eat. For microwaved corn, cut the stalk off the corn so it fits in the microwave. Leave the papery leaves on. Stick it on high for five to 10 minutes - then unwrap and eat.
Barbecued corn is glorious. Soak the corn cobs, papery husk and all, for 10 minutes, then cook on a hot barbecue for about 10 minutes each side. Unwrap and eat hot. If you must have additions, try a little black pepper, or ground fresh chili, or yes, extremely good butter or garlic-impregnated olive oil.
But truly-good corn is best on its own. It’s a $4 treat - one packet will give you more deliciousness than $500 in a five-star restaurant. You will taste soil and sunlight and summer, all in those soft juicy kernels. And if you are only plating them now it will be hard - but not impossible - to over indulge.
This week I am:
- Suddenly noticing the naked ladies (belladonna lilies) springing up all over the garden which means that it is late summer, no matter what the temperature says, and autumn on its way.
- Watching grass grow with rapidity I have never seen before and a lushness leaving the wombats bewildered, fat, and only needing to emerge for a couple of hours' munching before heading back to their holes at 5am.
- Pitying the hydrangeas, the flowers drying in the midday heat even in the shade and with damp soil.
- Wondering where the bees have gone, both native and introduced. The angophora floribunda are blooming, and you can usually hear the bees half a kilometre away. This year: almost none.
- Enjoying the potted cactus flowers- they at least enjoy the heat.
- Hoping we get a crop of dahlias before autumn - there is so much grass that Willoughby wallaby has finally stopped eating them all. If it keeps raining, we’ll get blooms.
