And then she said, "but imagine if it was, how cool would that be?" And she smiled and went back to whatever she was doing.

And it would be cool. It would be great to catch up. To let him know that the Dragons are just outside the eight, that the kids are going well at school, that I'm doing ok. Most days.

But Father's Day is not a day to be melancholy. It's a day to celebrate the men who make us mothers. Or made us daughters. And even if that man is no longer with you, take some time to think about what made him special.

When I spoke about my father at his funeral back in February, I spoke about how I learned all sorts of things from him. How to throw a cut out pass, how to bowl a leg break, but also how to put other people first, how to be a good friend, how to find humour in many things.

I also spoke about how he frustrated the bejeebers out of, how quick he was to anger in his later years, how I lost patience with him, and hated myself for it, but always found it hard to stay calm in his presence.

I guess that's what relationships with the people we love the most do to us. Split us in two.

Light us with joy, and darken our hearts.

But, be gone, melancholy. You've lingered too long this year.

Instead I'm thinking about the men in my life now. The fathers and the great things they do. Men who are talking to their teenage daughters about things that matter. Men who are gentle with these girls, setting examples, being the kind of men they want their daughters to have in their lives. I see men who are teaching their sons how to be men, by whatever definition seems right to them. Laughing with them. Still wrestling with them, even when these boys are now bigger and stronger. I see men bonding with their children, bonding with their children's friends. Being role models to all sorts of random children.

I know men who don't call it babysitting when they're home with their children alone. Who realise that parenting is a shared thing. Like housework, and the school run, and the groceries. As well as all the really important things that keep a house running. Like love and respect and kindness and desire. All these things are shared too.

I see men who know one of the most important thing they can do as fathers is love their children's mother. Who let their children know that sometimes mum will come first, and no, I can't take you to your friend's house, because your mother and I are going out for dinner. Men who are affectionate to their wives in front of their children, passing on important messages about what a relationship can be. I see men who say mum's busy, can I help you with that menial task you're hassling her about, even though mum is doing nothing more than sitting on the lounge reading a book. I see men who step in, and step up.

I see men still making time for their adult children, still proud to watch them play sport, or hear about their achievements at work, to teach them things they still don't know, just to be a sounding board now their worries might be about similar things like marriages and mortgages, and all those other grown-up things. These men love their grand-children too. Remembering what it was like to have little ones in the house. Maybe promising themselves to do it better, or just different, this time around.

And more and more, I've been noticing too, how women without fathers, without husbands, are making sure they, and their children, have good, strong men in their lives.

Men get a bad rap. I'm sick of reading about the statistics. Perhaps we should spend more time looking for good men, surrounding ourselves with them, celebrating them. Let them know we love them. Let them know why. And what better day to start doing that than Father's Day.

Thinking of you dad. Every day.