Although some of us may be confused about where God stands on marriage equality there is no confusion about where he stands on North Korea.
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He wants Donald Trump to smite North Korea with The Donald's promised nuclear "fire and fury". We know this because the Almighty explicitly spells that out in a neglected nook of the Bible.
This truth is being authoritatively pointed out by the Reverend Robert Jeffress, an evangelical adviser to the president. Jeffress says that God has given authority to Trump to "take out" North Korean leader Kim Jong-un and that we can see this instruction in a passage in Romans 13.
Back to this theologically thrilling issue in just a moment.
But first I should explain that if this week's column's tone lacks some of the infectious jollity the millions of you have come to expect from it then it is because of the death last week of singer Glen Campbell. His death was hastened by Alzheimer's disease.
For those of us whose heydays of youthfulness and optimism coincided with Glen's heydays of recording and performing his music has always had, will always have a special poignancy.
In 1967 all of our radios were always carolling to us his hits of that year, Gentle On My Mind, By The Time I Get To Phoenix and (most bewitching of all) Jimmy Webb's Wichita Lineman.
Then in 1969 came Campbell's recording of Jimmy Webb's Galveston.
That song's whistelable tunefulness has perhaps left lots who love it not noticing that Webb's words are not a jolly hymn to the charms of Galveston. No, in fact the words have a frightened and homesick soldier (probably in Vietnam) thinking of his home town and worrying about a Galveston girl. It is a profound song and Campbell recorded it, as he sang everything, with a simple sincerity.
Listening to Galveston again and again in recent days I wondered if our own dear city will ever get such a nuanced mention in such an honourable song.
Listening again and again to the haunting Wichita Lineman in recent days (it's a good job journos, and Garran boys, don't cry!) I'm reminded that it's not only a near-perfect love song but is also a piece of quiet Socialism.
We know that Webb wanted it to be, like Galveston and like Phoenix, "about the common man, the blue-collar hero". While crossing prairies Webb had seen men at work up on the telephone wires and in Wichita Lineman the lineman is up there in the wires, working conscientiously but at the same time thinking poetically, fondly of the woman he loves. Webb thought Billy Joel was right when he, Billy Joel, diagnosed that "Wichita Lineman is a simple song about an ordinary man thinking extraordinary thoughts."
Wichita Lineman invites us all to credit all working-class workers everywhere, linemen, plumbers, gravediggers, journalists, nurses, police, chaps building light rail infrastructures, circus clowns, kennelhands, cleaners, rugby league players, everyone, with a poetical side that their workmanlike work may not be hinting at.
Jimmy Webb wrote the song specifically for dear Glen Campbell (April 22, 1936 – August 8, 2017) knowing Campbell was the crooner to give it the right heartfelt treatment.
But back to the Biblical insights of Pastor Jeffress, megachurch celebrity vicar and evangelical adviser to Trump.
Scurrying to my bookshelf (scurrying because these are urgent times, with the Apocalypse perhaps just around the corner) and taking down my Good Book I at first looked in vain for any mention of the USA and Donald Trump.
But then I remembered that Americans believe, reasonably enough, that almost everything in the Bible is about the USA and its doings. As soon as one recalls that, then, of course as pastor Jeffress says it all sticks out like camel's humps. So when Romans 13 talks of God's chosen "ruler" being "a minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil" this is describing Donald Trump. He is the ruler, the minister of God, and satanic Kim Jong-un is the evil-doer God wants taken out with a righteous smite.
Perhaps those Australian Christians girding up their loins to fight the marriage equality evil-doers should invite clear-thinking, Bible-brandishing, theologically dynamic Jeffress here to manage their campaign. If we don't bring in a celebrity overseas theologian to do this then the Christian leadership of the "No" campaign will fall to Tony Abbott.
That may not be OK with God. Reading on in Romans 13, we find Him fuming about those who live lives of "strife and envying" and this sounds eerily like what Abbott has long been up to within his long-suffering Liberal Party.
