Earlier this week the Admiral's Barge dropped into Lake Barely Sailable to transport HMTQ and the PP to Floriade this morning. It's a Defence-commissioned, 12m Navy vessel. In other words: yawn. It's a beautiful-looking thing, for sure. But is this the best we can do?
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Canberra's Kel Watt is a self-declared republican but he is also the president of the Australian Dragon Boat Federation. Yesterday, he agreed a dragon boat would be an excellent mode of royal-to-Floriade transport. ''We'd be delighted, absolutely delighted,'' Watt said at the prospect of ferry duty.
Usually the boat takes 22 people, but Watt said he would reduce the paddlers to 16 or 18 to make room for the Queen. She'd then have the choice of riding in the middle or up the front ''to get a view of things and lead the way''.
Watt, who was out training with his crew last night, said the dragon boat could easily meet the Queen at the Government House back jetty. From there, he reckoned it would be a 20-minute trip to the blooms.
Given that Canberra has a fleet of 12 dragon boats and 150 club members, there would also be enough boats and paddlers to transport all the official party members (Philip, the G-G, etc) in their own special vessel.
Watt said that the paddlers - particularly in the ''engine room'' up the back - would have to hold back a bit to give the Queen a smooth ride. And ''adjust our language accordingly''.
Heave ho hearties
THE OTHER iconic Canberra water transport option is the Pirate Party Boat. Buck's and hen's party attendees will be all too familiar with the Pirate Boat (officially known as the SS Maid Marion) making its disco-lit way around the lake.
Owner and skipper John Arganese said the boat was available this morning for hire.
''It's a pretty clean-looking boat but you'd probably need to dress it up a bit with flags,'' Arganese said.
The boat, which features lifelike pirate statues, can fit up to 45 people.
You have to bring your own drinks and meat for the barbecue, but you can hire karaoke and slushie machines on board.
It could be just what the Queen and Prince need after all the formalities at Government House.
Age-old argument
THERE has been no shortage of euphemistic references to the fact this is the Queen and Prince Philip's ''last'' visit to Australia, that is, she's 85, he's 90 ... so you draw your own conclusions.
But according to Australia's Age Discrimination Commissioner Susan Ryan, this is a classic example of age discrimination. ''It's absolutely a case of prejudice to say, 'oh well they're too old to do whatever they're doing ever again,''' Ryan told The Royal Diary.
''People continue to do all sorts of things to advanced ages,'' she said, pointing out the Queen's own mother lived to be a very spritely 101 years old.
Betty tweets down
WITH the Queen finally on Canberra soil, it's going to be hard to keep a good ol' fashioned perspective on things. But it's worth noting that yesterday evening, the top people results for ''Queen'' on Twitter had absolutely nothing to do with Betty Windsor. Queen the rock band, Queen Rania of Jordan and rapper Queen Latifah were all deemed to be more queenly by the microblogging site.
What to expect today
THE GIRL power reading goes through the roof as the Queen receives the Governor-General at Government House. The carp do their best curtseys when the Queen and Prince Philip travel via (snore) barge to Floriade and then tour the gardens. Later, the royal duet tour the Government House gardens and the Queen plants a tree. Clearly, they haven't had enough tamed nature for one day.
