Faces and forms in nature abound, but it takes vision to indulge in a fascinating hobby, writes Tim the Yowie Man.
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Tentatively, I place my Akubra next to the half-empty sugar bowl. I fidget in my seat, a little nervous about my upcoming rendezvous. I carefully pull a photo out of my wallet and study it closely. It's the umpteenth time I've looked at this photo in the past 12 months. Not wanting the waitress to catch a glimpse of the photo, I turn it upside down as she takes my order for a cappuccino.
![Do you see it? Do you see it?](/images/transform/v1/crop/frm/silverstone-ct-migration/4d008d1c-1b60-4724-8af9-f11bdcc0f57a.jpg/r0_0_729_638_w1200_h678_fmax.jpg)
Just as I pull out the snapshot again, a young lady enters the cafe and upon spotting my hat, heads my way before announcing ''you must be Tim''.
My coffee date is with Tessa Bird, a reader, who following my revelation in this column of my obsession with simulacra (faces and forms in nature) a year ago, emailed me her very own ''face in a tree'' photo.
According to Tessa, the photo taken by her husband Matt last summer during a walk to stockyard spur in Namadgi National Park, ''clearly depicts an old man's face in a tree trunk''.
Since then we've exchanged countless emails and made a number of phone calls to each other, during which time Tessa has unsuccessfully tried to ''get me to see'' the face in her photo.
To add insult to injury, mid-way through the year in this column (July 23, 2011), I revealed that I couldn't make out the face in Tessa's photo, no matter what I did, including, ''squinting and holding the photo at an angle of 36.3 degrees to the rising sun''.
The photo Matt took of an old man's face in a tree trunk
Even my Panorama sub-editor refused to let me publish the said photo. ''I was beginning to think it was just me. I was seriously getting a headache trying to see a man's face in it. I tend to have an overactive imagination, and I can't see it, not matter how long I look at it,'' said my normally ultra-observant subby.
Not surprisingly Tessa was none too impressed with the disdain with which I treated her ''prized photo'' and in a desperate bid to save face requested we meet in person.
After ordering her coffee, Tessa produces the original photo on a thumb drive and then calmly tries to point out what she believes is a rather elongated nose protruding to the left of the branch.
I sort of can see a resemblance to a nose and even a slit for an eye (above right of the nose) but when she tries to convince me that the long concave shape along the bottom left of the branch is a ''gaping mouth,'' I shake my head for I just can't see it.
In a last ditch attempt, Tessa urges me to look at it sideways. I tilt my head on an acute angle. Crack. Ouch! Something gives way in my neck. I've pulled some sort of muscle.
''How hard can it be!'' exclaims Tessa throwing her hands in the air.
Still trying to straighten my crocked neck, I don't have the heart to tell Tessa that her photo looks more like a kookaburra than a man's head. Instead, Tessa reveals that she has been bitten by the simulacra bug, and now when out walking in the bush is almost always on the search for faces and others shapes in nature - whether it be in tree trunks, rocks, or even fleeting clouds in the sky.
''On a trip to Nepal, I spent two weeks trying to find an example of simulacra in the Himalayas for you, without luck,'' laments my newfound coffee mate.
In response, I warn Tessa of the French visionary Antonin Artaud, who, in 1936, was declared insane following a trip to Mexico where he went in search of simulacrum.
After we both try and make out faces in the coffee stains left in our cups (what else would you expect from simulacra-obsessives!) , Tessa leaves, still shaking her head as to why this crocked-necked columnist can't see the face in her photo.
One thing which this saga of the stockyard spur photo demonstrates is that it really is up to your imagination as to what you can ''see''. However, for me the essence of a good example of simulacra is one which people can look at, and almost immediately ''see'' the ''face'' or ''form''.
Pig's Snout, Torrington State Conservation Area
Over the next few weeks more of you will be exploring our wide brown (actually predominantly green at the moment) land than at any other time of the year, so chances are there'll be more examples of simulacra waiting to be discovered.
In anticipation of this, each Saturday between now and the end of January, I'm going to feature the best examples of simulacra sent to this column in my ''Simulacra Corner''. So keep your eyes peeled. Your simulacra might be in the ACT, down the coast or even further afield like the rock face I snapped while on a recent trip up north to Gosford.
All I ask is that they are reasonably obvious at first glance and won't result in the need for another surreptitious rendezvous at an inner-city cafe to determine its identity.
My neck just couldn't stand it.
SIMULACRA HOTSPOTS
1. The Pinnacles, WA: a moonscape of coloured quartz studded with fantastic limestone pillars in the shapes of fish, koalas, birds and even a milk bottle.
2. Torrington State Conservation Area, NSW: located north-west of Glen Innes this rocky outcrop features a series of granite boulders bearing remarkable resemblances to a mystery face, a mushroom and a pig's snout.
3. Jenolan, Abercrombie, Yarrangobilly and Wombeyan Caves, NSW: a treasure trove of simulacra in the form of stunning cave formations.
The Central Coast's Indian Head at Little Beach
HOLIDAY ACTIVITY
What: Add a new dimension to your South Coast holiday or day trip with a Gondwana Coast Fossil Walk.
Where: Ulladulla Harbour.
When: Most days during the school holidays (times dependent upon tides). For a full timetable of this 2 hour fun for all the family experience, check out www.gondwanacoastfossilwalk.com.au
Expect: World-class geological features and fossils during a stroll on a 500m wave-cut platform.
Bookings: Essential on (02) 44551269.
Stuck in Canberra? Old Bones - New Insights (featured in this column, December 10, 2011) features some fossils from both Wee Jasper and the South Coast. On display at the Canberra Museum and Gallery. Free entry. Ph: 62073968 for opening hours during the holiday season.
CONTACT TIM
Got a comment on today's stories or an unusual photo? Email: timtheyowieman@bigpond.com or Twitter: @TimYowie or write to me c/o The Canberra Times, 9 Pirie Street, Fyshwick.