Are you looking forward to the weekend? I can't believe how quickly it has come around. You remember weekends right? It's the time where people like me flock to you like a shoe sale. I don't tell you this enough but sometimes you're better than a shoe sale because you have bacon and eggs and coffee and toast of the French variety.
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However it pains me to bring this up but I've noticed lately that you and the most important meal of the day seem to be having some issues.
Is everything OK between you and breakfast? I'm sensing some tension.
I don't mean to preach but the key to any healthy and reciprocal relationship is that you don't apply rules, like "we finish serving breakfast at 11am" and "you can only order from the fixed breakfast menu" type of restrictions, or one day you're going to end up alone with nothing but a bored barista to keep you company.
I'm really sorry that I, along with my mates, procrastinate and take our time popping in over the weekends. But in between washing, appeasing the parents and Keeping Up With The Kardashians, I really look forward to decompressing and debriefing over eggs on toast - usually past this unofficial breakfast curfew that seems to be in place at a number of your establishments around Perth.
Just so you know, I'm not making the trend of the late breakfast up. It's happening, it's not just something the girls in Sex And The City do. Real people actually like to eat Bircher muesli (albeit with a cheeky Bellini) after 11.30am.
I know a growing number of you are focusing on developing snazzy breakfast options, which is wonderful. I like too like to wander off the culinary beaten track and discover new things. But can you please promise me you will remember the basics?
I asked for eggs in Mt Lawley last Saturday afternoon and by the look the waiter shot me you would have assumed that I asked the poor guy to fertilise them, not serve them on wholemeal bread.
"It's really strict, you can't order that now, the chef won't allow it," he spat back at me.
So please try to play nice with breakky. You make a really cute couple - a couple us food fans like to celebrate with our credit cards.
Am I being too harsh? Or perhaps you could let me know if there is a breakfast or brunch etiquette for those who like to dine out?
Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club
