It had been in the back of Josh Tonna's mind for some time.
Subscribe now for unlimited access.
$0/
(min cost $0)
or signup to continue reading
That doesn't mean he will try to move past the recent death of his wife Kirsty's grandfather Barry - "Bazza" to the family - especially after it followed the loss of his aunty Kylie.
Because they are still in the back of his mind, and now the Canberra Muay Thai fighter will compete in their memory when he returns to One Championship on Friday night.
Tonna will meet Englishman Andy Howson in a strawweight bout which promises to steal the show on 'One: Warrior's Code' in Jakarta, and he has something more than the art of eight limbs to rely on.
"We had to have that in the back of our heads, knowing [Barry's death] was going to happen," Tonna said.
"It was very sad. I'd like to have that as a bit of fuel. That will get me going when I need it, in the later rounds when I'm tired, I'll have them to push me.
"It was one of the best camps I had too, but it was very demanding on my body and my family. I owe a lot to my wife for really helping out and taking care of the kids.
MORE CANBERRA SPORT
"She had a lot on her plate so it was just amazing for me to having someone like her to help me out."
That's not to say Tonna has escaped dad duties during fight week.
Because his son Harry has come along for the ride to watch his father in one of the biggest fights of his career.
"He has been to one but he has never watched one," Tonna said.
"He's watched a couple on TV, but this is the first fight he's ever going to watch in person. It makes it special for the whole family.
"If I win this, because it's a very important fight, it could potentially put me in line for a belt, that's what I'm hoping."
Tonna has one more fight left on his contract, after which he will look to negotiate another two-year deal before signing off in the capital.
It looms as the perfect way for Tonna to "finish my career off on a high" as he contemplates the twilight years of his storied fighting career.
"I'd love to have one last one in Canberra to retire. I don't think there are too many fights left, but good quality fights," Tonna said.
"The contracts are two years long, so I'll finish in June or July this year, then hopefully go for another two years. After that, have my last fight in Canberra and see what happens there.
"Things might be different by then, I'm not putting any limit on it, but that's what I'd ideally like to do. I'm still in the peak at the minute of my career, but that's just what I have in mind."
ONE CHAMPIONSHIP: WARRIOR'S CODE
Friday: Petchmorakot v Detrit for the featherweight Muay Thai world championship at Istora Senayan, Jakarta, 5.30pm.
Josh Tonna v Andy Howson in a strawweight Muay Thai bout on the undercard.