Horror novelist Stephen King's car Christine only wanted to kill people. But the oh-so-clever artificial intelligence embedded in the next generation of cars will desperately want to save your life, stimulate your senses and even celebrate your birthday.
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As the fully autonomous car of the future creeps ever closer, the technology needed to make it all happen is here, even now.
However, what's missing are all the necessary supporting elements - the shared road and traffi c data-gathering - which prevents your expensive and self-aware car getting sideswiped by some lane-weaving, Cressida-driving idiot filled to the gills on lunchtime oxycontin and tequila.
A seamless connection between cars owners and their vehicles is already in place by most luxury car makers or planned for the very near future.
Mercedes me, for instance, is like having your own personal on-board nanny.
Although she's a very accommodating nanny and will cosset you by pre-cooling the car's cabin for your arrival and pre-program the least congested route for the drive home, she also doesn't like your occasional exuberant use of the accelerator.
A feature called "speedfencing" sets a maximum speed limit, watches closely and chides you when you exceed it.
Lucky for us, the chiding is not in German.
What's not known is whether those little speeding indiscretions stay within the boundaries of the ever-cosier personal data-sharing relationship building between you, your regular phone apps and your high-tech transport.
Having easy government access to everyone's driving data would be like giving your savings account details and passport number to an absurdly wealthy yet strangely naive Nigerian prince needing a favour.
Blame Tesla's Elon Musk and his obsession with the overblown but what's not far away is having the interior of your car share at least some of its components with a JB Hi-Fi store.
Gee-whiz dashboard optics are now the car interior designer's impressionist rendering.
Musk's Tesla electric cars took your giant computer monitor off your desktop, turned it sideways, and embedded it into the dashboard.
Then was added audio-visual gimmickry that no one, in their wildest dreams, ever thought they needed in a car such as a startlingly realistic crackling log fire (marshmallows, anyone?) and yes, even a farting feature (well, who doesn't need one of those?).
Opinions are strongly divided on the distraction of Tesla's huge vertical monitor carrying valuable information but being offset to the driver's natural, down-the-road gaze. It seems almost counter-intuitive to inherently safe dashboard design.
Mr Musk's riposte is to declare that when his Autopilot rules the roads, all driver input and the need to look ahead for hazards will be irrelevant because the car will save you every time.
Blind faith, it seems, isn't just the purview of the millions singing along at home to US televangelists.
Rivian, a US electric car start-up already attracting big money investment from companies like Ford, uses a similar type of desktop monitor which sits horizontally, but still keeps key driving info right in front of the driver.
Established car manufacturers are planning a less in-yer-face, transitional introduction of in-car technology in the knowledge that the age demographic of their uber-luxury buyers are more likely to need a onboard cardiac monitor than a Cardi-B interface.
Audi's newest mini-screen emerges from the dashtop like a slightly clumsy prop from a 70s sci-fi movie.
In completely stark contrast is the German brand's very stylish instrument binnacle which, at the push of a button, fills brightly with full-width, full-colour navigation and offers kindly, Gandalf-like guidance.
Flanked by small, LED rendering of conventional analogue dials, the satnav keeps the intended route central in the dashboard and shifts subtly with directional changes, dinging softly to warn of areas where new speed restrictions are imposed. It's so beautifully rendered that it's almost distracting.
Head-up displays in cars were fashionable around the same time as the original Top Gun but since drivers don't wear helmets, getting the focal length, breadth of information, and light level right has always proved a little tricky.
Jaguar Land Rover is working on an "immersive" 3D image for safety alerts such as lane departure, hazard detection, satnav directions and to reduce the effect of poor visibility in poor weather or light conditions.
Bladerunner's hero use of holographs isn't as Ridley Scott futuristic as we imagined because research into autostereoscopic 3D displays (displays which eliminate the need for 3D glasses) by the University of Stuttgart is poised to push 3D into our everyday lives on billboards, public displays, mobile devices and, of course, our cars.
Jaguar Land Rover sees the early application in adding a perception of depth and clarity to in-car displays which would be particularly useful for alerting drivers to safety issues ahead.
After all, nothing visually screams water hazard upcoming more than large puddled pothole suddenly emerging from your dashboard.
All that's needed to complete the experience would be getting sprayed in the face from the dash vents.
Canberra's own Seeing Machines is already operating at the cutting eye of driver eye and gaze-tracking to combat fatigue and distraction, two of the deadliest problems on our roads. Its complex algorithms detect drowsiness by the way your eyes and head move, and send out alarms (or even worse, emails your boss).
Once vehicle autonomy takes the Great Leap Forward, Jaguar Land Rover says similar gaze-tracking technology can be individually optimised so that "driver" and passengers can enjoy their own choice of media - including journey details, points of interest or Netflix - and optimised for where they sit in the vehicle.
But long before we can sit back, relax and let our cars take control, there's much more work left to do to allow data to be continually shared between cars (V2V) and between cars and surrounding road infrastructure such as traffic lights and cameras (V2I).
Given the 19.5 million vehicles which share our roads vary greatly between completely "dumb" to Neil deGrasse Tyson "smart", all we can do is pay handsomely to enjoy all the best in-car technology money can buy while sitting in an old-fashioned traffic queue.
