The thought ran through Tom Banks' mind as he sat in a hospital bed nursing a patched up shoulder for the second time in as many years.
Maybe this isn't for me. Maybe the dream of making it as a rugby union player was nothing more than that for the Brisbane Boys' College export.
Opportunities at the Queensland Reds were already hard to come by for the promising fullback and shoulder surgeries in 2014 and 2015 did little to aid his mindset.
"It was pretty rough there for a moment, I had some dark days," now ACT Brumbies fullback Banks said.
"You definitely have those moments, initially after injury there is a lot going through your head. That's where a strong support network and family and friends really helped me."
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Banks could think of no better people to turn to than his parents Desley and Tony. They're the ones who were there on the sideline every week tracking his rise through the ranks, the ones who picked him up for training and fuelled his ambition.
"I will never be able to repay them. It's something I look back on and think how lucky I am to have that love and care," Banks said.
"I knew I just had to get through it, do the rehab. It gave me the desire to play footy again, missing out and knowing how much I wanted to be out on the field really drove me to come back.
"I wanted to have a crack at making it professionally, and my support network helped me do that. When I was down they pushed me back on track and I never looked back."
So it was fitting when his name was eventually read out by then-Wallabies coach Michael Cheika, the first people Banks called were his parents.
Partly to say thank you for allowing him to chase a dream and keeping him on track when the world felt as though it was caving in around his hospital bed.
But also to say thanks for allowing him to borrow their Foxtel login details so he could watch Cheika name his team on television midway through 2018 - although his own name was the last thing he expected to hear.
Because not so long ago he had only mustered a couple of caps for the Reds before flying to Canberra for a fresh start.
A strong season on the club rugby scene in Brisbane saw Stephen Larkham and Dan McKellar take a punt on Banks, and before long he was the club's premier option in the No. 15 jersey.
Now he is a Wallaby standing on the cusp of history as the Brumbies prepare to face the Reds in the Super Rugby AU grand final at Canberra Stadium on Saturday night.
"It was probably the best decision I've made, coming down here. It's my fourth year down here now and I have loved every minute," Banks said.
"The culture and what the Brumbies stand for is something I really want to be a part of. I'd struggled for a few years with injuries, I struggled to stay on the field and I'd been in and out of the Reds system.
"[Larkham and McKellar] really just showed a bit of confidence in me and my ability, which not too many other coaches did at that point. That was really refreshing. To come down in a full-time program, and having coaches of that calibre is something I really thrived on."
SUPER RUGBY AU GRAND FINAL
Saturday: ACT Brumbies v Queensland Reds at Canberra Stadium, 7.15pm.