Teenaged boys asked to rate girls, and girls told to stay virgins, in class activity at Sydney's St Luke's Grammar School

I even seem to have some vague recollection of writing a checklist at my own pre-marriage classes, writing where I wanted to be in five years, 10 even, what qualities I was looking for in a partner, in a future father of my future children.

In hindsight, some 25 years and a divorce later, it was probably quite pointless (but perhaps prophetic) to be thinking about these things with the ring already on my finger. There you go.

But there is no excusing the list making that year 10 students at Sydney's St Luke's Grammar School were forced to do this week. If you haven't seen the story, it was revealed that during a Christian studies lesson at this northern beaches co-ed school, the boys and girls, aged 15 or 16, were separated and given some nice little tasks to complete.

The boys were required to choose the qualities they looked for in a girl from a list that allocated more points for virginity, looks and strong Christian values than it did for generosity and sincerity.

The girls meanwhile were given articles to read about why remaining a virgin until marriage was important. It would be fair to say it didn't go down well.

The school's headmaster has since apologised to students and parents, acknowledging the material was inappropriate and pledged to personally oversee a review of Christian studies lessons. One of the Christian studies teachers has voluntarily stood down while the matter is under investigation and the school has committed to co-ed classes from here on.

Just when we thought that the consent crisis plaguing the playground had taken a semester break, we're back in class.

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It's no wonder our children are still confused, it's no wonder many of them are still angry that the adults in their lives continue to let them down, it's no wonder they are still working out how to form respectful relationships.

Respectful wasn't even on the list given to the year 10 boys. They had 25 points to allocate on qualities that they would look for in a girl. "Now this is supposed to be for a lasting relationship," they were reminded.

You used up six points for: popular, loyalty, good looking/attractive, intelligent, strong Christian, kind and considerate, virgin or trustworthy.

Five points got you someone who was: physically fit, easy to talk to, was fun/had a sense of humour, was wise.

If it was important that someone was sporty or sexy (loved that those two were lumped together) it took up four points, alongside goes to church, honest/doesn't lie or cheat, similar interests to you and friendly.

Three points got you: well dressed/groomed, artistic, good manners, good pedigree, ambitious goals, hard-working, great kisser, owns a car.

Two points served up right height, good at school, brave - stands up for rights, socially competent.

If you only had one point left, add in that they have your favourite hair colour, favourite eye colour, have money, sincere and serious, generous, adventurous, similar beliefs, cares for the world, comfortable even in quiet moments.

If I found out my son had been given such a task I can guarantee there would have been no quiet moments from me.

But it did make me think about what qualities I would have allocated my points to. Generosity is a big one, with family, with friends, in the bedroom. Hard-working and capable (which wasn't on the list). Easy to talk to, fun, sporty, sexy, adventurous. Good kisser is a no brainer.

But let's face it. Anyone with any life experience knows you're never going to find someone with the full allocation of 25 points. And that's a message we need to teach our kids as well. You might end up with Mr 18 and that's OK too.

As for the girls being told that Satan provides opportunities for fleeting sexual encounters, that's a story for another day.

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