After colleague Michael Gorey and I dared to express an opinion about the Maple Bar's ban on men approaching women, I was a little taken aback by some of the comments.

I was called "outdated" and told we had "no idea about the Canberra nightlife scene". Of course, confessing that my last club experience was at Private Bin didn't help.

But this wasn't about the ban. This was about me being what I used to call an old fuddy duddy. Was I one? Once you're past a certain age are you not welcome anywhere? Indeed, do you have any right to go out at all?

There's two ways to look at this. Firstly, sometimes it's actually fun to get out of your pyjamas, find a babysitter and hit the town. Nice dinner, somewhere to kick on afterwards, you and your significant other, perhaps a group of friends, nice cocktails, craft beers, feeling like the young hip people we once were.

Secondly, for a generation that grew up actually meeting people out on the town and not online, trying to get your groove back can be a daunting thing. At 50, almost one in four women are separated or divorced. For men it's almost one in five. Not that we're all going Cougartown but maybe some of us are looking for approaches.

So in the public interest - and just so we don't offend anyone not much older than our own children, or indeed our own children - here's a few places to go out if you know all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song. (Note: wouldn't recommend singing it to impress someone.)

The Polit Bar, upstairs, 8 Franklin Street, Manuka. Open Tuesday to Saturday, 5pm-late.

Somewhere that advertises they play '80s music is always going to pull an older crowd, people who knew the songs the first time round. But it's The Polit Bar's friendly vibe, great mix of entertainment - from trivia to burlesque - and commitment to cocktails that we like.

Parlour Wine Room, 16 Kendell Lane, New Acton. Open til late all week.

A place where you feel right at home on one of their comfy couches but where the wine list is much more impressive than what's in the fridge. Parlour draws an eclectic high-brow crowd, head down after work and you might find yourself staying there all night.

Molly, Hobart Place, City. Open Monday to Saturday til late.

Most people know where she is now. But she's still an exclusive kind of lady and we like that. We also love the jazz nights and the whisky and the gin. The staff are friendly and welcoming, plus there's plenty of dark corners to sit in and look mysterious.

The Duxton, Cnr Sargood and Macpherson St, O'Connor. Open all week, until late.

Hands up if you can remember the Vietnamese restaurant that was once on the corner here? We've always loved The Duxton, even more so since its refurb. A good crowd, of all ages, is always guaranteed. Try the main bar, or head up to The Loft, and, when you get tired early, order fish and chips from Flatheads and head home.

Hyatt Hotel Canberra, Commonwealth Ave, Open daily, hours vary.

Speaker's Corner Bar is a great venue when the nights get chilly with open fires to lounge by and cosy corners to sip cocktails in. A great tapas selection too. Or slip around the corner into Griffin's, an intimate room for more intimate moments. Like calling the babysitter to see if she's okay if you just stay a little bit longer.

An intimate yet laidback wine bar that draws a crowd who want a night away from the big screens and noisy young 'uns. With a chic decor and plenty of seating options, you'll come after work and pretty soon the kids will be calling to ask where dinner is.

* Author admits she had to ask all her cool friends about most of these places. It seems her loungeroom does not count as a venue.