Merriden and Caroline are old school friends. They live on Sydney's north shore.
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Hi Caro, lovely to hear from you. So unusual for someone to write anything these days. I'm typing this at work and will put it in an envelope and put a stamp on it. I don't trust email, but I will save it on the computer just in case. One of the partners came in a while ago and asked me to go with him to a dinner tonight with some Liberal backbenchers.
They want him to explain what they should say when someone asks them why the miners are keeping the concessions they were given for the super profits tax even though the tax will be removed. I have been doing some work on the JBWere account. Apparently there is something in the budget about the Ancillary Notional Expenses (ANE) scheme that Julian and Clive worked out as a tax dodge when Howard was PM.
It appears that Mr Swan - that's his name by the way; I had a chuckle at you calling him Bird - said at a dinner yesterday that they were looking at ways to close that buttonhole. It's a perfectly legal scheme; Julian has the Queen's Counsel opinion and is not at all worried. But you could never trust the Labor crowd to get another one saying the opposite; it's how these QCs make their money, as you know.
Sorry, loophole, not buttonhole, lol. I don't know how to move up this thing that blinks so that I can change it. I loved your letter. You have such a way with words; it's why they moved you into the PR section. And you're right - Labor have no class: they got educated free on our taxes, and then were taken in as charity by some law firm and taught how to tell lies with a straight face. I think Tony is right to keep hammering on about the carbon tax. His talk of a ''great big new tax'' nearly won him the last election and it would have if it were not for the two hillbillies up the country. At work, we laugh at his TIAG statements - This Is A Government - but it got through to the people out west and they think he is so clever.
Our Nigel rang me just now to tell me that he has been offered a contract with one of the football clubs, Souths I think or maybe Easts, some direction anyway. He played with Joeys as you know.
Remember how we used to laugh at their colours: cerise and pink, wasn't it? My little brother on the wing and all the girls mad keen on him. Apparently, this isn't the same game they play at Hunters Hill, but Nige says it is almost the same thing. He is friendly with one of the players at this new club, a lovely young lad who looks after his mother. I just wish he didn't have all those tattoos; apparently you have to have them in that game or the others would laugh at you. Anyway, Nige says that he will now be paid for playing, which I think will annoy the Brothers at Joeys.
Easy for them, they have all their meals prepared for them and don't have to pay tax. They're not allowed to have - you know - but for all my fellow is bothered about that kind of thing these days, I might as well be a nun. Nige is not a Catholic of course, but Joeys always take in a few of our crowd to show that they are not prejudiced. I heard the other day that Shore and Riverview are poaching from each other. You can't trust those Jesuits.
Which brings me back to your comment about all those holy Romans in the opposition. Tony himself of course - a spoilt priest I believe - and Hockey and Barnaby Joyce and little Chrissy Pyne. All trained by the Jesuits. If Shore and Cranbrook would do their job as well as that and produce a few politicians to stand up to Labor, there wouldn't be any need for the Jays to poach from them.
Tony is so brave trying to stop this Gonski thing. I'm not sure what it means, but Julian says it is a way of taking money from the private schools and giving it to the government ones. He says that if you can't believe Mr Swan for one year, how can you believe him for four years; or maybe it's Tony that is saying that. It's all so confusing, Caro, thank goodness you and I don't have to worry about it.
Anyway, I had better get back to this ANE thing. Lovely dinner on Saturday night. Your Clive was so attentive to you.
Merriden.
Frank O'Shea is a Canberra writer.