If you've ever come home to discover your house robbed - as I have, TWICE - you say the same silly things people say after robberies on TV.
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After they have thrown around and smashed up all your most-prized possessions, the first word you call out is simultaneously stupid and the most appropriate: "Hello?".
What response are we expecting? "Hi! I'm over here! How did you know someone was here? Now I'm hiding in the bathroom with a pair of scissors."
Are we really expecting a return greeting from an honest robber? This person has just stolen and smashed up all your stuff, so they're unlikely to shout back "I'm in the kitchen making myself a cup of tea! I hope you don't mind, but I pinched some of your brown sugar."
Then, if no one replies, maybe because you're scared, you end up calling out something that will make them feel scared too, like "I've called the police!" which is the second-dumbest thing you can say.
Because, now the robber is thinking "Phew! They haven't contacted the police yet, because what fool would walk into a house knowing any minute now the police will come crashing in?"
Of course, the number one dumbest thing you call out while looking around your house for a robber is "I've got a gun!".
If any genuine robber is still in your house and hears you say this, then you can pretty much kiss your old age goodbye, along with all your stuff, as the experienced robber knows that any game of "scissors, paper, gun" usually advantages the one holding the gun. So, unfortunately you've got to be eliminated from the game first.
Perhaps those more liberal and left wing among us are still feeling robbed after the recent federal election. This might explain the silly things being said.
Many on the left remind me of that little girl in Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's poem who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good she was very, very good, but when she was bad, she was horrid.
I read one commentator claim that Australia actually wanted Labor and the Greens, but voted the Coalition back in anyway. What do you say to that?
There have been many days on which I have wished that I was a liberal and not a conservative. Those on the left seem to have a comradery and loyalty towards each other that is so rarely found among us conservative folk.
Imagine a room of 100 people where 95 were conservatives and only five were liberals. I think that if one of the 95 conservatives were attacked in debate by the five liberals, the other 94 conservatives would look the other way.
On the other hand, I'm musing that if one of the liberals were being verbally attacked by the 95 conservatives, the other four liberals would rush to their comrade's aid and fight to the death.
And yet, at the same time, many on the left remind me of that little girl in Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's poem who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good she was very, very good, but when she was bad, she was horrid.
This was evidenced yet again last Friday, when thousands of protesters - many of whom were only school-aged - brought Melbourne's CBD to a standstill while they played "dead" during a rally against climate change. This comes only weeks after other protesters - many of the same people, perhaps - did the same thing to promote the vegan agenda, causing even ambulances to be rerouted.
It's almost the same story every time. Although liberals' beliefs are in the minority, they try indefatigably to convince everyone that almost everyone else is on their side.
The weak-minded, the ignorant, entertainers and swinging voters like me, are all fertile soil for these tactics. And those on the left successfully bolster their numbers, however, they still lose.
So, in complete contradiction of all their previous claims of wanting what the majority want, they aggressively protest and coerce society towards their minority held opinions, until they are the majority.
We have to seek a world where our opinions and rights end where other people's rights and opinions begin.
Otherwise, these aggressive protests will create a brave new world that everybody will be afraid to live in.
Twitter: @fatherbrendanelee