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Sometimes life seems too short to be keeping an eye on Parliament. Then along comes Senate estimates, a train wreck from which you can't look away.
Yesterday's derailment started early, when South Australian Liberal senator Alex Antic was quizzing ABC boss David Anderson about whether the ABC was "grooming" children.
He'd taken issue with a program that featured drag queen Courtney Act reading from Kat Patrick's children's book The Spectacular Suit, about the empowerment that comes with choosing the outfit in which you feel most comfortable.
Here's how part of the exchange went:
Antic: "The program was rated G and has been heavily promoted on TV and on the app. Why is the ABC grooming children with this sort of adult content?"
Anderson: "Senator, I don't see that as grooming children with our content. That particular program is reading from a book that is about dressing up so I think ..."
Antic: "Female children in male children's clothing, you think that's not ..."
Sarah Hanson-Young: "You mean young girls wearing pants? Seriously."
Nice try, senator, but Senate estimates is no place to grandstand on some culture war raging in your own head. Plus, if any publicity is good publicity, you've just given the book you're so incensed with - and the person reading it - a handy little boost. Then again, you have form.
In February, Antic was a guest on American Steve Bannon's podcast, The War Room, where he called on "real" Australians to head to Canberra to protest against vaccine mandates. Thousands of anti-vaxxers, cookers and conspiracy theorists descended on the capital. Some have stayed ever since, causing trouble in car parks and generally making a nuisance of themselves.
You'll remember Bannon too. He was Donald Trump's crumpled strategist until the pair fell out in 2018. Bannon was sentenced in October to four months' jail for contempt of Congress, when he failed to front the committee investigating the January 6 riot.
Strange company for an Australian senator to keep, you'd think.
Antic's antics weren't the end of the grotesquerie.
One of Labor's senators kicked an own goal too. Glenn Sterle from WA got hot under the collar and called Nationals colleague Bridget McKenzie a "naughty little girl", a comment he later withdrew and apologised for. What year is this again? Someone remind me. And what about the new standards of politics the PM promised us?
Peak horror was reached later in the session, when it was revealed a senior manager at the Australian Pesticides and Veterinary Medicines Authority had urinated on colleagues at a private function. The manager has since resigned but Agriculture Minister Murray Watt has asked for an urgent briefing about the matter.
While he's doing that, I'm going to dust off The Adventures of Barry McKenzie, which seems suddenly relevant in this new age of the troglodytes.
HAVE YOUR SAY: Will our parliamentarians ever grow up? Will we ever see the end of the culture wars? Is it OK for a man to call a woman a "naughty little girl" in a professional context? In any context? When will the promise of better politics be delivered? Email us: echidna@theechidna.com.au
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IN CASE YOU MISSED IT:
- Police dealt with an unprecedented number of threats against parliamentarians during this year's federal election campaign. The threat level heightened after a British member of parliament was fatally stabbed in broad daylight while carrying out official duties last year. Australian Federal Police Commissioner Reece Kershaw said threats against parliamentarians and their families continued to increase. "During the election we had a record number of incidents," he told a Senate estimates hearing.
- A secret government report into the sports rorts scandal has slammed the decision-making process behind the controversial grant scheme. The investigation by former Prime Minister and Cabinet department secretary Phil Gaetjens found there were significant shortcomings by coalition senator Bridget McKenzie in awarding a community sporting grant to a gun club that she was a member of. Documents released under freedom of information revealed Mr Gaetjens said there was a lack of transparency for other applicants for the sporting grants on how the money would be allocated.
- Former Australian senator and co-founder of the Greens Bob Brown says he has been arrested in Tasmania's northeast while staging a protest against logging. Protesters began on Monday a "peaceful occupation" of swift parrot habitat near Swansea, where they claim the birds are being pushed out of their usual breeding and feeding forests by intensified logging.
THEY SAID IT: "Sexism is everywhere, bro. I don't know if it's ever not somewhere." - Billie Eilish
YOU SAID IT: Donald Trump's likely return as a presidential candidate and whether a politician so scandal-plagued could ever make a comeback here.
Susan says: "US politics has become the most popular reality TV show ever, at least in the US, and Trump has a good chance of running and winning. If this happens, I suspect the best thing the rest of us can do is pull the plug: cut diplomatic ties, block all entertainment, news and other contact with the US and try to ignore the elephant. One cannot reason with a madman or a country run by a madman and his mad supporters. Could it happen here? I would like to say no, and I suspect no is the correct answer. This is not an entirely positive response. I suspect our path to destruction is more involved with personal greed and selfishness. The closest we have come, to my mind, is ScoMo. Fortunately, he just doesn't have the personality to inspire a Trump-like following."
Elaine is curious: "The mind 'boggles' at the possibility of Trump regaining power, an egotistical old man who is only interested in himself. What are Americans thinking? What does the education system teach in America? Certainly not common sense."
Heather's adamant: "The US is a failed state. Its constitution badly needs an overhaul. Reportedly, the system always favours the Republican Party. And the present Republican Party seems happy to be taken over by dangerous lunatics led by Trump."
Jenny's reaction to the news he might run again: "I didn't scream; I vomited."
Paula says: "I had to laugh at your description of Trump. It is just as I see him. I can't bear the thought of him being US president again. I could hardly watch him last time."
American-Australian Carl see it differently: "And Biden never lies? Or forgets where he is? I am really curious how your readership - certainly many conservatives, including blue collar Trump supporters, among them - respond to your rather strident column about the last US president. To me, the entire American experiment is going down the drain - and on so many levels - and that's why you get a clown like Trump and a biased media that only covers one side of a story."
Diane, also American-Australian, says: "We all thought we were done with him. Our constitution is extremely flawed. It deeply saddens me to see how Republicans are destroying the country. There are now two words for the Republican Party and their insane followers: Domestic terrorists. They are not even a real political party anymore. My grandson - what is his future?"