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We were filthy stinking rich. Drunk on the fumes of our loot. But joining the ranks of the super wealthy didn't mean having to feel guilty or embarrassed by our sudden windfall.
After all, my wife and I planned to do something quite un-Australian. We would give away much of our $160 million fortune.
First, we'd set the kids up for life. With their full time servants there would be none of those annoying last-minute calls pleading with us to babysit. Then, after furnishing our modest mansions around the world with 20-car garages and private helipads, we would help those less fortunate.
We figured we'd donate at least $100 million. But how to ensure it reached those who needed it? How to avoid those charities with absurdly high administrative costs?
We weighed the pros and cons throughout the day and much of the night until the problem was resolved when those damn Powerball numbers of ours once again failed to materialise.
Still, those hours fantasising about becoming obscenely wealthy found us briefly sympathising with Jeff Bezos, the world's fourth richest man. The founder of the giant online company Amazon has an estimated net worth of $170 billion and last week said he hoped to give away the majority of his fortune.
"The hard part is figuring out how to do it in a levered way," Bezos said. "It's not easy. Building Amazon was not easy and I'm finding ... that charity, philanthropy, is very similar."
Bezos has been criticised for being slow off the mark when it comes to giving. His ex-wife, MacKenzie Scott, gave away more than $4 billion last year while Bill Gates and his former wife, Melinda French Gates, donated more than $15 billion.
The Gates's joint foundation has distributed more than $60 billion in recent years toward reducing global poverty and combating diseases. Even their spare change has made a difference, with a lazy $100 million transforming New York's public school system.
Americans, particularly their stratospherically rich, have a proud history of philanthropy. Andrew Carnegie, the steel magnate and one of history's richest people, gave away almost 90 per cent of his fortune and planted the monetary seeds that sprouted 2800 libraries across the US. John Rockefeller, who dominated the oil business at the turn of the last century, established educational facilities that continue to flourish.
But Australians - and particularly our super-rich - are not so charitable. We are one of the wealthiest countries in the world but rank poorly when it comes to giving. You might even say the Lucky Country has become a nation of tight arses.
The data is irrefutable. Our charitable donations amount to 0.81 per cent of our national GDP, trailing countries like New Zealand, the UK, Canada and, of course, the US where people give almost three times as much, even in poor states like Alabama and Arkansas.
Ninety per cent of Americans earning over $1 million a year record tax deductible donations compared to only 55 percent of their Australian counterparts.
And a report earlier this year by the Centre for Social Impact - a collaboration of Australian universities - revealed that despite the growing wealth of our richest people (our top 200 boast combined fortunes of close to $600 billion) their charitable donations, with a few exceptions, have fallen well below the levels of many other countries.
Those statistics hardly correspond with the way we like to imagine ourselves - a generous people always willing to open our wallets whenever the latest round of bushfires or floods unleash mayhem and hardship.
So why are we, particularly the very affluent, giving less compared to so many other countries? For a start we don't have an inheritance tax - something most other developed nations impose on high net worth individuals. Such a levy encourages the rich to spread their wealth and minimise taxes on their estates after their deaths.
The CSI report also noted our absence of a "1 per cent pledge" now popular in the US and other countries which encourages - or shames - the uber-rich to commit a portion of their wealth to philanthropic pursuits. The institute estimated that introducing such an undertaking here could see the wealthiest Australians raise almost $100 billion annually for the charity sector, something that would, overnight, improve countless lives.
Yes, we can all do better, no matter how jaded we may feel by the endless door knocking and street-corner solicitations we encounter from our 60,000 registered charities each day.
But clearly it's time for our very well off to start giving more. If they set the standard we might follow their example, rather than waiting in vain for our lottery numbers to show up.
HAVE YOUR SAY: Are you giving less to charity now that the cost of living is soaring? Do you have a favourite charity - or are you put off by those with high "management expenses"? Would you support the reintroduction of an inheritance tax? Email us: echidna@theechidna.com.au
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IN CASE YOU MISSED IT:
- The 25-year ban on the ACT and NT legislating on voluntary assisted dying is all but certain to be lifted after a major win in the Senate. Alicia Payne and Luke Gosling's private members' bill passed the crucial second reading stage 41 votes to 25 yesterday. An attempt to bring on a final vote on the bill failed as the hour set aside for the process expired before it could be finalised. This means the final vote is expected to be next Thursday night.
- Insurers have hit back at claims they're abandoning customers impacted by flooding, while refusing to admit which postcodes are embargoed from insurance. Flood damage claims to IAG (whose brands include NRMA Insurance, CGU and WFI) by NSW residents so far this year have jumped by 145 per cent to 29,356 claims. This is up from 11,959 at the same time last year. Allianz said the number of weather-related home insurance claims have spiked by 160 per cent in Queensland for 2022 compared to 2021. In the ACT claims have jumped by 103 per cent, in NSW they're up 87 per cent and in the Northern Territory there's a 33 per cent increase.
- Telstra breached rules on credit management for dozens of customers who were on financial hardship plans, the communications watchdog has revealed. An investigation by the Australian Communications and Media Authority revealed the telco took actions such as suspending or disconnecting services to 70 affected customers. Under the telecommunications code, telcos must suspend credit management when hardship arrangements are in place. The investigation found 70 customers were affected between August 2019 and April 2022. Of those, 22 had services restricted, four had their service suspended and five were disconnected.
THEY SAID IT: "No-one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another." - Charles Dickens
YOU SAID IT: The holiday rush to the beach and the influx of visitors, most respectful, some just nuisances.
Susan says: "Oh yes, dear Echidna. The holiday season. How we love it and also hate it. We live in a little place called Diamond Beach on the mid north coast of NSW. Even the locals call it Paradise. It is glorious. Also relatively undiscovered, unlike Byron and the like. But at this time of year, there is an influx of upward thrusters and their numbers are growing every season. You can identify them at the shopping village; they don't meet your eye as they importantly rush about in groups in their designer beachwear, casting around for a better looking coffee shop and asking for quick directions to here or there. We need them, we welcome them, but I do wish they would stop treating the locals like we are all half-witted. I was once a busy professional too, and yes, I have slowed down. Slowing down is a good thing to do. That is the message I would like to give to every frenetic FOMO holiday season visitor."
Olivia watches the invasion in Queensland: "Soon our visitors will flock to the Sunny Coast to join the commuter car crawl and compete for a car space at the beach. My local fish and chippery will relish a queue around the block as the surf clubs throb and bulge with the Mexicans (NSW) and Mega Mexicans from down south (Victoria), and the Rotary free BBQ pits will be on fire with holiday cookups. Budget aware, big, noisy families flood into Caloundra, city folks with polite kidlets prefer Mooloolaba, and yummie mummies and daddies with designer babies will parade their perfection on Hasting Street in Noosa. The price we pay for living in paradise. Bring on winter."
Brad says the invasion is year-round where he lives: "My commiserations to our friends down the coast. You get attacked from three big-smoke directions, especially the ACT, and little tourism money gets invested in your infrastructure. Here in Wollongong our beach invasion is on weekends all year. And tourism/industry income gets lost on exit from here too."
Another Susan is peeved by the litter: "Bring back the Don't Rubbish Australia campaign, particularly in schools. For years after it, rubbish was not littered around the countryside. That is not the situation currently."
Diane has a suggestion for coastal locals: "If I lived in one of these places I would decamp to the city. You are right people just don't care. I am happy in Ballarat where I can avoid these obnoxious people."
Like Brad, Erik from the Blue Mountains endures an invasion every weekend. "Footpaths blocked by dawdling visitors five abreast or just standing in the middle having a chat, oblivious to their impact or to their dogs on leads presenting a trip hazard. Car parks full and cafes with queues trailing up the road. You learn not to go out from Thursday to Monday! But it does bring money into the area and provides employment. And most are day trippers so at least the evenings aren't too bad."
David's found a silver lining in all the floods: "I feel your pain, but this year, living on the Murray River, we will be freed of the noisy, invasive hordes. All river traffic is restricted to four knots, so no noisy jet skis barrelling up and down in front of picnic areas. A flood of water has washed away the usual flood of bogans."
Graham's also noticed the litter left behind: "I live in a village well inland from the beaches, but even here there is a secondary link road through the locality and we find fast food wrappings, drink cans and bottles every day, dumped at night from yobbos' cars on their way from the nearest Maccas or KFC (about 15km away) to God Knows Where, plus the odd revhead or two using the road as a drag strip. However, it's a lot less than is experienced in beachside areas, for which we're grateful."
Kantabile says: "My kids grew up in the fishing village of Yanchep just north of Perth. It was idyllic but now it has been devoured in Perth's suburban sprawl. John, if you studied your Bible you would know that God loves dickheads. That is why he made so many of them."
Chris toughed it out for years: "I lived for 22 years in what started as a quiet coastal town which saw summer visitors who appreciated our natural beauty and wildlife. By the time we were driven out every weekend was the nightmare you described, and housing developments had overtaken farmland, including the one opposite our house. We have moved to a small agricultural centre to retrieve some peace."