Skye McAlpine's A Table Full of Love is a recipe for success

Perhaps his idea stemmed from some complaint of mine, that I missed cooking for people, apart from my children. I missed cooking adult food for adults. For an adult. Just one other adult. A proper grown-up meal, at the table, with a glass of wine and witty banter, that might lead to some luscious dessert. If you know what I mean.

Skye McAlpine is one of my favourite cookery writers as her cookbooks are just as much about the writing as the recipes, and her latest book, A Table Full of Love: Recipes to comfort, seduce, celebrate and everything else in between, is out now (Bloomsbury, $52.99.) You can find some recipes in Tuesday's Food & Wine section.

"The act of simply making a plate of food for someone can reap the richest rewards," she writes. "Appreciation, friendship, sometimes admiration and even - on occasion - infatuation. Love. Because if there's one lesson I have learned in life, it's that food cooked with love begets more love."

There's a chapter in the book all about seduction. A sexy cocktail to start, scallops with a buttery brandy gratin, a chocolate and rosemary tart, even her husband Anthony's pancakes which he cooked for her on one of their first dates.

"Food can be the most eloquent way to express love. But it is a very effective way to invite love, too, and what follows in this chapter is food to seduce, to butter someone up, to make them believe they can't live without you. That's something you always need a recipe for."

She has some tips: choose dishes to share, avoid too much garlic, keep the food light, check for dietary restrictions, go with recipes you know, and make dessert ahead of time and stash it in the fridge.

"That way, if the date isn't quite what you hoped it would be, you can draw the evening to an elegant-but-firm close after the main course and indulge in (all) the pudding when they're gone."

I like that thinking.

I can't remember the last time I invited a man to my house, let alone my dinner table. I wonder what I would cook one now?

I'd probably roast something, a chicken, or lamb shanks, with some of the trimmings, some salad leaves. I have a Jamie Oliver fish pie recipe that is simple and impressive. A Matt Preston flourless chocolate cake that tastes better if you make it the day before.

Would my mystery date look at the menu and wonder what it said about my personality? Nothing fancy, just homely and delicious.

On the rare occasion I've struck up an online conversation, I often ask what meal they might like to be cooked, or cook for me. You can tell how far that line of questioning has got me. When those app-generated questions are all about your passions and goals in life, is it wrong to answer with "cheese"?

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Oh, what I wouldn't give to have a man cook for me. I honestly can't remember the last time that happened. A night where I didn't have to even think about what dinner might be, a night where I could just sit and enjoy it all, before helping with the washing up.

I can think of nothing sexier than sitting at the kitchen bench with a chilled glass of wine while I watch a man stir a risotto while we get to know each other.

What am I talking about? At this rate I think I'd lose my heart to someone who offered to make me a cup of tea.

While I am hungry, in some ways, I have long recognised the importance of showing love for myself through food. McAlpine says, in the chapter entitled "Cocoon", that there's some guilt associated with cooking for one.

"Guilt feels almost overpowering when it's just me eating alone, as though the time - that excruciating precious commodity - would be better spent tackling my to-do list; as though I don't really deserve to pause for supper, let alone cook it for myself."

But when she does, the busy mother of two young boys revels in the solitude and savours the meal she's cooked for one.

Perhaps I should think less about the idea of a dinner date and more about what's offered on the menu.

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