How does a former Bosnian child star find himself co-hosting the Eurovision Song Contest?
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''It was part of my community service,'' said Sergei Puukolisto, bearing an uncanny resemblance to actor Lachlan Ruffy, who appears in Supa Productions' musical Eurobeat - Almost Eurovision, opening at the ANU Arts Centre on Friday.
The show presents an imaginary version of the famous international spectacle with competing countries presenting their various numbers. The winner is voted for by the audience at each performance.
As for Sergei: when puberty hit, it spelled the end for his TV show, Wake Up With Sergei.
''I had a brief hiatus and began to celebrate my fame. I drank moderately - a lot.''
One thing led to another, and by court order he wound up on stage in Sarajevo alongside nightclub performer Boyka, who looked eerily like another Canberra actor, Sarah Golding. Boyka seemed rather more enthusiastic about the event, if not about Sergei.
And what did Sergei think of his co-host?
''I am not allowed to say that in print media,'' he said.
Pressed, he allowed, ''It balances out the gender situation. Personally I don't know why she is there, but if it makes the court happy, I'm happy.''
Sergei said he would get through the show by drinking - ''during and after, but not before … And during the show, not more than 12 drinks … Any more than 12 is unprofessional.''
He seemed momentarily enthralled by the rehearsals even though he couldn't understand a word sung by the contestant from Greece, Persephone (Miriam Rizvi).
''It's all Greek to me.''
And what did he think of the Ukrainian singer Anitchka (Eliza Shephard) and her number Bang Me?
''It is very clearly about music,'' he said. ''They assure me it's about music.''
Ruffy refused to break character - or eastern European accent - for a moment.
Shephard, coming off stage as herself, said she would also be appearing as the Bjork-like Icelandic singer (''the crazy one'') and would dance in the Norwegian number Hammer of Thor (think: Vikings) and in Lichtenstein's number Nepotism.
That last-named title might provide a clue regarding the nature of the vote.
Shephard said, ''Each night two or three of the different countries come out at interval and tell the audience, 'Vote for me' 'No! vote for me!'''
Does that sound familiar? It's an election year. We might as well get used to it.
■ Eurobeat - Almost Eurovision is on at the ANU Arts Centre on April 5, 6, 10, 11, 12, 13, 17, 18, 19 and 20 at 8pm with 2pm matinees on April 13 and 20. Tickets $40 adults, $35 concessions, Wednesday evenings and Saturday matinees, and $25 children under 16. Bookings: 6257 1950 or dinner and show packages available from Teatro Vivaldi on 6257 2718.