Ben Alexander has been in that moment when the country's weight hung on his shoulders and it all seemed too much.
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The former Wallabies prop has experienced the immense pressure and expectations that comes with wearing the Australian jersey. But he has also witnessed the toll taken on the mental health of his teammates and other athletes.
That's why Alexander switched sports and went into bat for mental health in a charity event with Cricket ACT at Phillip Oval on Sunday.
A rusty Alexander scored a handful of runs, dropped a catch and bowled a good over for the Northside All Stars in their loss to the Southside All Stars.
The charity match, which raised money for Lifeline, boasted the region's best cricketers and a sprinkling of guest stars including Canberra Raiders halfback Sam Williams and musician Jack Biilman.
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"I had my battles and demons to fight when I was playing footy," Alexander said.
"So I want to help out as best as I can to pass on any lessons I've learned from my sporting career around my own mental health, especially in retirement.
"It's a battle I face everyday, so if I get an invitation to come play a game I've never played before then I'll jump on board."
The timing of the charity event is fitting after three international cricketers stepped down from their professional duties due to seek help with mental health issues in recent weeks.
Glenn Maxwell stood down from the Twenty20 side before Nick Maddison withdrew from Australia A's tour match against Pakistan. This week it was 21-year-old batsman Will Pucovski.
It's a decision Alexander knows all too well.
The former Wallabies prop stepped down from his international duties for a Test match against Ireland because he wasn't in the right head-space to represent his country.
Whether it affected his future selection was irrelevant. He needed space and a chance to deal with off-field issues before continuing the tour.
"I knew I wasn't in the right head-space to represent my country and I would be doing it a disservice if I stepped out onto the field," Alexander said.
"I'm very grateful to my coach Ewan MacKenzie and the team doctor at the time, they have me space and let me step down for the week while on Spring tour.
"It was definitely the right thing to do - you've got to be in the right physical and mental head-space if you want to go out and perform at the highest level. If you're not then you have to put up your hand and say it.
"It's a lot more commonplace now. It's great people are talking more, sharing ideas and talking about their experiences."
Hundreds of community members filled the stands for Cricket ACT's inaugural All Stars for Mental Health Day, with the organisation planning to make the event a staple on their summer calendar.
Local fast-bowler Jak Willcox, who opened up on his demons last summer, drove the project alongside Cricket ACT boss James Allsopp, Ginninderra coach Mick Delaney and Jono Dean.
"Mental health doesn't discriminate and it's certainly had an impact on people in the community, specifically the cricket community," Allsopp said.
"We're starting to consider some other means to support our cricket community and particularly our league players who are under a lot of performance pressure.
"In years to come, we want to make this match fall in a mental health awareness round.
"This is the start of something we want to grow but we want to have some success at the All Stars for Mental Health first. We want to use cricket as a vehicle to connect people, raise awareness and much needed funds for Lifeline to support mental illness."
Lucie Bertoldo
Lucie Bertoldo is a sports reporter for the Canberra Times.
Lucie Bertoldo is a sports reporter for the Canberra Times.
