The challenge of fatherhood in 2020: Canberra dads share their thoughts on Father's Day

I came from a big family. I had a fantastic childhood growing up on a farm, four boys and a girl. We had plenty of places to play and Dad was really good at teaching us things, so I guess that's where I've picked up that desire to teach and pass on things to my girls. I want to give them experiences.

I want to build self-belief and confidence in the girls. At the summer camp, there were a lot of life lessons in the play and I saw the kids grow through that, it was amazing.

So, I try to replicate that, give my girls outdoor experiences but also any experience where some life lessons can be learnt. I like for them to extend themselves, whether that's in paddling or camping, taking them fishing, just push them outside their comfort zone. They love it. We have weekends camping up in the mountains sometimes, just me and the girls. I'm not real good on the school side of stuff, the academic side of things, but it's my job to answer questions about how things work.

I definitely remember the birth of both the girls, it was quite emotional. People said to me: "Oh are you hoping to have a boy?" When we had Georgie, I was excited and when we had Lily I was even more excited because Georgie had a little mate. For me, it didn't matter if it was a boy or a girl, as long as everyone was healthy and happy.

The thing I enjoy most about being dad is creating fun things for them to do which are a little bit outside the box. The most challenging thing is managing their screen time. I'm probably more concerned about that, going into the future with social media. That's why we try to get out and about. We don't do it all the time and sometimes you do say: "Go and spend some time on the screens so I can get some things done." But trying to engage them outside of that is the biggest challenge.

I've been a professional firefighter for 18 years. I don't think becoming a dad changed how I approached my job. But, I think, as a parent, you do see yourself in people's situations and when you go to different incidents where kids are involved, that's a lot more difficult.

We don't really have any Father's Day traditions. I get breakfast in bed. I do always like to get homemade gifts from the kids, something they've made at school or whatever, rather than them just buying something.

I think it's an honour and a privilege to be a dad and the girls are like my little buddies.

Georgie, nine: "My favourite things to do with dad are going bike riding, paddling and hiking. Dad's nice, kind, funny, amazing, fantastic. The best. Nobody could ever wish for a better one. I love him."

Lily, eight: "I like when he tips us over on the trampoline. Dad's strong. And he always tickles me and tries to make me smile. Sometimes he falls asleep on the couch watching the football. He's a great dad."

- with Megan Doherty

The most important thing we've given the boys is time. When they were smaller we made a conscious choice to look at our careers and we both ended up in teaching which enabled us to spend a lot of holidays with them. It's been a really good family vocation and it's worked for us extremely well.

It's allowed us to be around for their sport, to be able to go and support them or be involved in coaching or just helping out. The apple's didn't fall far from the tree and Kylie and I both love our sport and had our own sporting careers before we had the boys and they've followed down that path as well. They really enjoy it and get stuck in and do alright themselves.

We've encouraged them to play all different sports. They've played AFL and cricket and golf. Two of them are off single figures at golf so they've got their dad done there but I'm still the best tennis player in the family. I've never let them beat me, in anything, so they know if they have beaten me they've earned it.

I think it's really important to be a good role model for the boys. That goes without saying. Being an educator as well I'd like to think the subject we teach the most at school are manners and being a good person and having a good character. And it's the same at home.

At school I do that through the guise of health and physical education, the subjects that I teach, and through the sports that I coach such as cricket at school and hockey with Wests in the Capital League.

You're teaching them other things as well, how to be organised, how to have good character, what do you stand for, integrity, being a good mate, supporting people, all those things.

My dad Duncan was my number one role model. He was a man of few words, a quiet achiever, when he spoke you listened because you knew he probably had something important to stay.

He played sport at a pretty good level and we grew up around the cricket grounds of Parkes, we got to know his teammates.

That's important, that children have other adults in their lives. We don't have family in Canberra but the boys have always had other men and women in their lives who are important to them.

Maybe I'm that to other boys. The number of times I've come up against boys I've taught or coached over the years on the hockey field or at cricket.

I'm lucky to have done this with Kylie. I'm probably like her fourth son. That's one piece of advice I'd give the boys is to think about your choices when it comes to relationships. It's crucial for me that I teach my boys, and the children I come in contact with at school and coaching, to respect women. We hear too much these days about relationships where that's not the case and we need to do what we can as men to make sure that doesn't happen.

About three years ago Darcy did his ACL and he was too young, he was only 12 or 13, for the usual procedure where they use your own hamstring to repair the ligaments. So I gave him some of mine. We both had surgery, and his knee has been fine ever since. My hamstring hasn't been, but I'm putting it down to the surgery and not the fact I'm 53.

Blake, 22: "What stands out most to me about dad is is strong work ethic and selfless nature. Whether it's the time he's spent with my brothers and I, coaching teams and individuals, or while teaching, you always get his best effort and I hope that's rubbed off on me."

Jay, 19: "My dad is passionate and highly motivated. He is a good role model to me."

Darcy, 15: "Dad is loving, caring, passionate and will give help where it's needed."

- with Karen Hardy

I was 34 when we had our first child. We were living in Karachi when our first two sons were born and, in Pakistan, we don't have a culture of the husband being in the delivery room. I was waiting just outside and either my mum or my wife's mum would be in the room with her.

With my third son, who was born in Australia, I was reluctant to go into the delivery room but the doctor said "No, you have to be there".

I can't express in words the feeling. It was a moment of bliss, it was a moment of perfect joy, delight which cannot be matched.

When I was there for Omar's birth, I thought, 'No more!'. The pain! It is an amazing thing. Nobody in the world can produce that perfect blend of pain and pleasure.

In Pakistan, the extended family helped to raise the children and my job was to be the breadwinner. Six, seven o'clock, I would come home from teaching at the university. My main responsibility was to make sure there was no financial hardships for the family as well as the growing needs, the education of the children. The love and passion was certainly there. The weekends were for us as a nuclear family. Karachi is a coastal city, so we would go away to the beach. I used to ride a motorbike, my wife would be next to me and a child would be between us. When there were two kids, one would also sit in front of me. Those were wonderful days.

We came to Australia in 1991. And it was more revealing to me what it meant to be a family standing on our own. Omair, our third son, was born here, a gift of Australia, I like to say. He was a bit more demanding because in Pakistan, the responsibility [of parenthood] was shared. But he was also easier, because we had more time. Omair is a lovely, lovely youngest child for us.

I think grandkids are like when the bank pays you a bonus. You see the biological continuation. And that is where you say "This is the purpose of my life". If I can embody happiness, it would be grandkids. My grand-daughters Sana and Myra, they are just wonderful.

My son Salik and his wife Sehar Aslam and their children, Sana and Myra, moved from Red Hill to live with us here in Franklin at the beginning of the COVID-19 lockdown. We were worried we would be separated and not able to see each other. We didn't know how long it was going to last or if they would be allowed to come, it was completely unknown. As a grandfather, I was extremely grateful that they did that because it is a big effort for them to take them back and forth to school in Red Hill.

I like to take the grand-daughters to the parks around our house. Their most favourite thing is kind of deceiving their parents and taking me out. I know what is coming - "Dada, we haven't been to Kmart for quite some time". Dada is the name of grandfather in my language and Dada will bear the consequences of taking them to K mart and buying them toys. Their parents say: "You are spoiling them".

And maybe because of my teaching background, I like to just sit with the grandkids and have extended talks. They have a passion to learn more and more and more.

On Father's Day, they go out with their mum and Nasim and they buy something for me behind my back. There will be a present from all three sons and the grand-daughters. But what I love is them just making a small little gift or a Father's Day card at school. Nothing you buy can replace that.

- with Megan Doherty