Here's to the unsung heroes of marriage

I can't say I have told my last joke on the subject, but I do want to publicly express my apologies for any joke I've ever told that has truly offended anyone.

Here and now, I openly express my deep respect of marriage and my gratitude to it, given I am the product of a long and faithful marriage myself.

Sunday night's Married At First Sight reunion special was a TV ratings disaster. Earlier this year, New Idea reported that, of the couples from the upcoming season, almost all had already split thanks to COVID-19 state travel restrictions.

Apparently, even the most hopeful couples were not able to endure these difficulties.

One wonders why Channel 9 even bothered to air the special.

Still, I've been musing on the possibility that the show's lack of marriage success may persuade its fan base to believe that marriage itself is a myth, and perhaps rubs salt into the wounds of other viewers who have recently found themselves in similar circumstances.

Australians' views on marriage are clearly changing.

Last November, The Sydney Morning Herald revealed that the number of people marrying for the first time aged between 50-54 has increased by 276 per cent since 1999.

For those in their 60s, the marriage rate has grown five-fold.

Add to these the introduction of same-sex marriages - and yet, even before COVID hit, Australia's marriage rate was the lowest since federation in 1901.

How can this be? Well, I can't think of a time in my life like these last few months, hearing of so many marriage break-ups and separations - and not just of brief marriages, either.

In just the last couple of weeks, we have seen actors Simon Baker and Rebecca Rigg's split after 22 years of marriage, Collingwood coach Nathan Buckley's marriage break up after 18 years and rugby league legend Wally Lewis's marriage end after 36 years, to name just a few.

I went for a walk with a man recently who left his spouse after almost 30 years, just weeks after speaking to his sister who did the same - and after the same length of time. Perhaps the COVID lockdowns poured petrol on fire.

But why are so many marriages breaking up after so long?

Surely now, even the most diehard supporters of divorce must be able to see that the current situation is untenable.

We are not made of steel and many people are walking around carrying the wounds of their break-ups, as do their children.

The argument that most people get over even a difficult divorce is like arguing that five out of six research scientists agree Russian roulette is safe.

Perhaps the growth of the marriage break-up culture is an extension of the growth in entertainment.

When people sit down to watch live TV, Stan or Netflix, do they pause and muse on the reality that this is not reality?

In life, you try and make your relationships last as long as you do.

On TV, the love affairs that are glamourised are of people who have found new love.

Is it any wonder so many are on the lookout for new love, even the old?

Divorces where people have left a spouse because the partner was boring or they were bored, again, I would attribute to the TV and entertainment culture.

In real life, when I go for a bushwalk I want it to be boring.

I don't want to go bushwalking and find a dead body and have the killer chase me all the way back to my house and then visit my house by night on the 10th anniversary of the murder.

It makes for exciting TV but a horrible life of counselling and sleeping with the light on for the rest of your life.

So, here's to all the unsung heroes of marriage. I am sorry you that are so rarely praised.

I am grateful for your perseverance, forgiveness and inspiring example.

Twitter: @frbrendanelee