"If this is it, please let me know. If this ain't love, you'd better let me go."
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Huey Lewis and the News could've been singing about Canberra's stadiums when they recorded their 1984 hit.
It perfectly reflects the federal government's plans to dump the ACT - to continue the relationship analogy.
When The Canberra Times revealed Liberal Senator Zed Seselja's plans for a Viking Park redevelopment on Wednesday, it was hard not to feel like the love-sick puppy following around that person you really like. They like you, but they're not really into you. Just after a bit of fun.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: Canberra.
Yeah sure, a new stadium would be nice. But it's not the new Civic Stadium Canberra desperately wants and needs. Instead, the federal government's offered us a 10,000-seat redevelopment of Viking Park.
Don't get me wrong it would be ideal for some ACT Brumbies games against low-drawing teams, potentially for some games for our new A-League Men's team - when we get it - for Canberra United games, the Australia Cup (nee FFA Cup) and maybe our new NRLW team when that hopefully gets announced later this year.
But the news comes with a kick in the guts. It clearly hurts our chances, if not kills them off completely, of getting a new 25,000-seat stadium in Civic.
Because if Scomo et al planned on building that, then why would they bother with a Viking Park breadcrumb? This is it.
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No new (proper) stadium is bad news for Canberra Raiders fans.
They had 15,224 at their round-one clash against Cronulla last weekend. They averaged more than 13,500 to their home games last year - in a season where they were outside the top eight for a lot of the campaign.
That ramps up to above 24,000 come NRL finals in non-COVID times. And no matter how many temporary stands you bring in to Viking Park that doesn't fit into 10,000.
So the Green Machine will continue to get stuck playing at Canberra Stadium as it decays around them.
Not to mention without a 25,000 seater you can kiss goodbye to the Kangaroos, Socceroos or Wallabies ever gracing us with their presence again. (Unless they also enjoy the smell of rotting grandstands.)
The problem is Canberra's status as a Labor stronghold. It's only the political pressure being applied by independent senate hopeful David Pocock in the lead up to the federal election that's forced Seselja's hand.
If only we were Townsville! The amount of Coalition cabbage that was thrown at the centre of the most marginal seat in Australia at the last election was mind blowing. The Coaltion was very keen on them. And so was everyone else.
As part of the now infamous "sports rorts" saga, where the Coalition went on a vote-buying spending spree, they got a new $300 million, 25,000-seat stadium and a new centre of excellence for the North Queensland Cowboys - who the Raiders just happened to play on Saturday night.
And that's for a city of less than 200,000 people. Compared with Canberra's 460,000-plus. Not to mention it being Australia's capital. As opposed to a country town in the middle of nowhere.
At least we've still got AIS Arena up and running so we've got some big Canberra Capitals crowds for the WNBL finals to look forward to. Oh hang on, I'd forgotten the feds have shut that down too with a seemingly terminal case of coronavirus.
This ain't love, Zed. You need to let Canberra know.
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