How much do you put in a wedding wishing well? And more to the point, should that change with the rising cost of living?
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There comes a time in everyone's lives when it seems like everyone you know is getting married. That love-filled time when weekends are filled with 'I-dos' and other wedding adjacent events.
And being smack bang in the middle of wedding season, I can genuinely say that I love it. For the most part, weddings can be a lot of fun.
But as the rest of life gets more expensive, it has prompted questions as to how much you give the happy couple.
Weddings are expensive. I get that. According to Moneysmart, the average wedding in Australia is $36,000. A Oneflare survey says it's more like $51,000. Other sources quote anything up to $65,000. And I can imagine that has gone up even more in recent months (especially if you have lettuce on the menu).
Plus there is the impact that social media has had on weddings. For example, where once it was unusual for there to be separate bridal outfits for the ceremony and reception, a friend of mine says that in the lead-up to her wedding, she's had people asking about the reception dress as if it was expected that there would be one.
No shade on anyone who wants two outfits, or - on a broader scale - a big lavish day with all the trimmings. Your wedding day only comes around once - theoretically - and even if you were expecting another big day, there's no reason that you shouldn't go all out.
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But should the rising cost of weddings be passed on to your guests? Or should the guests feel obliged to pay more knowing this price hike?
I know a lot of guests consider what it costs per person when writing out their well wishes and base their monetary gift on that. Ten years ago, it was on average $100 per person. Now it can be anywhere north of $150 (Making it financially beneficial to go solo to a wedding).
But I would argue that these mathematical equations shouldn't come into it. I don't care if you serve a five-star meal or McDonald's cheeseburgers, it's actually not going to affect what I give as a gift. A wishing well is not a transaction, it's a gift. I would rather give an amount that feels right, rather than trying to suss out how much the wedding costs to begin with.
And for the most part, I'm sure the happy couple would care more about your presence on the happy day than the cash that comes in a card.
Of course, you still hear stories about couples who have asked their guests to pre-pay for their wedding meals and give to the wishing well. And knowing of one such wedding first-hand, I can confirm that these types of happy couples do exist.
So I ask you Canberra, what is the etiquette for wishing wells? Do you actually need to give more if you know the couple's big day costs a pretty penny? Or do we just think we do?
At the end of the day, the guests were not part of the conversations deciding between a buffet or cocktail-style food. Surely it should be the guest's own financial situation and discretion that decides how much they give?
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