Am I the only cranky mother who can't understand why we get excited when fathers actually do some parenting? Sure, Megan Doherty's story about the special daddy-daughter hair workshop earlier in the week was extremely cute, but really? Good on you mate, you managed to pull off a plait. Something millions of mothers do every morning as they send the kids out the door, after sorting lunchboxes, finding lost school shoes, signing permission notes and making sure that night's dinner is in the slow cooker ...
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But go, you. A ponytail! Let's shout it from the rooftops.
I am completely over those viral videos of dads with vacuum cleaners who think it's a clever way to do hair. Show me videos of them using said vacuum cleaner to suck up grime from behind the fridge, or get cobwebs out of the corners of the bedrooms. Even better if no one has asked them to do said chores.
And don't get me started on videos of dads attending ballet lessons, dancing with their reluctant daughters. How many mums are spending time at the cricket nets, throwing ball after ball with one of those plastic arms, or standing behind goal posts collecting wayward shots at goal? Let's not even split it via stereotypes. How many mums get the accolades for just being a parent?
No mother ever says she's doing mummy daycare if she's working from home with a toddler in tow, nor is she ever babysitting the kids so her partner can have a weekend away with the boys. She's just being a parent.
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I was walking past the local school the other day, on my way to the shops to get some milk, because women are experts at multi-tasking, and if you can knock off two birds with the one stone, even better. It was pick-up time and some of the school parents had gathered on the oval as their little ones ran off that last bit of after-school steam.
There was a mix of men and women, standing around, having a chat. There was one bloke in a suit, and I watched as he pulled out his phone to take a call. His whole posture changed. Look at me, super dad that I am, a very important office worker, who can still be here for pick-up, and he peacocked about for a while making sure everyone noticed how important he was. All hail the VIP dad. The mums just got on with it. Finding tissues, settling disputes, pulling snacks out of their bags. All this happened in 15 minutes. I'm a very slow walker.
Look, I know I'm being harsh. It's been a good few years since my own children needed such hands-on parenting. I'm quite happy to admit even I've noticed a generational change. The partners of my young female friends seem more involved in their children's lives. I put it down to a generation of young women who perhaps noticed their own mothers were a little frazzled and decided that wasn't going to be their life.
I just kind of got on with it, like my own mother got on with it. Sometimes it was just easier to do it myself. I didn't do it seeking any recognition. We needed to be clothed, we needed to eat, to get to school. Let's just do it.
The gentleman who ran the workshop Megan wrote about said something about how he wanted to host the day "so other men would feel comfortable doing things that they aren't normally given the responsibility to do".
Do you need to give your children's father permission to do something, outline to the letter that it's their responsibility to get something done? Really? Maybe step up and have a look what needs to be done and take that responsibility on yourself.
When you become a parent no one gives you a to-do list. No one is allocated certain tasks, save perhaps breastfeeding, for obvious reasons. Few parental responsibilities are split along gender lines. It's a team effort.
Yes, we all have our special skills. I can't braid hair to save my life, but I've taught both the kids how to thread a worm on a fishing hook. Finding a person to complement your parenting skills is a special skill all in itself.
There is much to celebrate about parenting. Too often we talk about all the challenging aspects of it, and there are plenty of those. But I'm well over those who make a fuss about the most basic of things. Especially when it's those things mums do every day and no one even notices.
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