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They were among the happiest and friendliest people I had met. So it seemed a pity to discover they also ranked among the stupidest.
Hundreds of these incredibly polite and undoubtedly well-meaning folk had gathered at a conference in the lush forests of the Blue Mountains to disprove the greatest hoax in human history.
Evolution? A complete crock, they cried. The birth of the universe 14 billion years ago? Please, you're joking. The absolute truth? Our planet was created just 6000 years earlier. Mankind had even lived alongside the dinosaurs until an angry God created a great flood to cleanse the world.
(Spoiler alert: life on earth was ultimately saved due to some impressive boat-building skills.)
I spent a weekend with these creationists as they enthusiastically tore apart the work of millions of scientists and centuries of rigorous observation and testing. Then I wrote about the flaws in their arguments and the dangers they posed with their attempts to infiltrate schools with their literal interpretation of the Old Testament.
Turned out I was the stupid one. Mark Twain was right. Never argue with stupid people, he warned. They will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
The creationists quickly dropped their polite facade and turned nasty. Hundreds of coordinated protest letters arrived. Dozens of angry phone messages were left. Web pages denounced my takedown of their beliefs.
Their faith was unshakeable. Rational argument with them was impossible because they didn't understand the scientific method. To them, science was just another religion. Facts were not things supported by irrefutable proof but simply another set of beliefs open to interpretation. Cherry pick the ones supporting your cause. To hell with any context.
Sound familiar? It's the same tired playbook used by climate change deniers, anti-vaxxers and all the other frightened conspiracy theorists spewing their anti-establishment anger and existential fears into the world in a torrent of spelling errors and poor grammar.
This week former prime minister Tony Abbott announced he was joining the board of a UK organisation that attacks climate science and minimises the dangers of global warming. No surprise, of course. He's been a long-serving soldier in our ridiculous culture wars for decades. Abbott has derided climate science as "absolute crap" and, like many of his brethren, disingenuously cloaks himself as a "healthy sceptic".
Psychologists have noted how creationists, climate change deniers and anti-vaxxers share similar personality traits. Denial is how they cope with the prospect of annihilation. So they hear worrying footsteps when others hear progress. They sense motive when others present evidence. They see wood - preferably planked and stacked on convoys of road trucks - when the rest of us see trees.
They love to obfuscate and confuse. But they're careful about the fights they pick with science. They don't challenge the validity of electricity or the effectiveness of anaesthesia. You don't come across many gravity deniers falling out of the sky, do you?
Abbott's move is another reminder that the time for engaging with intractable people is over. Time may be short. Last month the Doomsday Clock, a 70-year project of atomic scientists warning of impending catastrophe, was set at an unprecedented 90 seconds to midnight.
So instead of pointlessly defending science to stupid people, how about we bolster science first?
We need to reverse the vandalism waged for decades against the scientific community. Investment in physical sciences like maths and chemistry has plunged almost 40 per cent since 1996. Scientific funding in this country as a share of GDP has been plummeting for 15 years.
The Albanese government staged a huge song and dance last month to mark its new $300 million arts policy. A similar initiative reminding Australians how our unfashionable scientists have long punched above their weight on the world stage would be a start. Next: smarter funding initiatives and slashing the bureaucratic red tape suffocating the scientific community.
Scientists actually dedicate their lives searching for truth. Give them - and their work - the status and support they deserve.
Only then can we reinforce - again - the truth that science has nothing to do with belief, religion or personal taste.
Only then can we explain - again - that overwhelming unanimity among scientists on issues like climate does not constitute "groupthink", but validation of years of experiments and testing.
And then we can return to dispensing the wisdom of author Harlan Ellison.
"You are not entitled to your opinion," he said. "You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant."
Not even the stupid.
HAVE YOUR SAY: Should science receive greater funding and support? Has science convinced you about the reality of climate change or do you remain doubtful? Do you have a favourite conspiracy theory? Email us: echidna@theechidna.com.au
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IN CASE YOU MISSED IT:
- Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has vowed to keep pursuing justice for the victims of Malaysian Airlines flight MH17 after international prosecutors concluded their investigation without further convictions. Prosecutors in the Netherlands said there were "strong indications" Russian President Vladimir Putin gave his consent to the use of the weaponry that took down the airliner in eastern Ukraine in 2014.
- The fossil fuel industry has warned that the federal government's proposed gas market code of conduct will crunch supply and force prices up. In a submission to the government on its plans for a mandatory Code of Conduct for the gas industry, the Australian Petroleum Production and Exploration Association said the reform would actually worsen the nation's gas supply and cost challenges.
- A Sydney man has died in Turkey after a powerful earthquake shook the country - the first confirmed Australian death in the disaster. Can Pahali's body was found in rubble after members of his family flew to Turkey from Australia to help search for him.
THEY SAID IT: "Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein
YOU SAID IT: The lost art of letter writing and how it's eroding Australia Post's viability.
Elaine says: "I still write letters and cards and enjoy receiving them, not so many now, but it's great to receive them, especially from my eight-year-old grandson. I worry about the loss of creative writing and the use of a pen or pencil. The ability of actual writing using a pen will be a great loss to so many, the keeping of memories gone, how very sad, the digital age has a lot to answer for now and in the future."
Peter fears the positie's days will come to an end: "Thoughtful article as usual. Sadly, the postie's noble occupation will inevitably pass into obsolescence like many other jobs. Does anybody remember the ladies in the typing pool? Railway porters? Bank tellers? Typesetters? Journalists? (Only kidding about the latter, John, but ChatGPT is looking over your shoulder too.) Of one thing we can be certain - none of the posties to be made redundant will receive a Cartier watch from Australia Post."
S says: "Our local posties put on Santa caps as well. Throwing out that shoebox of old cards was a wrench. Christine Holgate turned a profit for Australia Post - ScoMo still deserves a proper excoriation for his actions. I guess all the good old boys are jealous because they can't do it."
Lester's reply is long but well worth the read: "I come from a large farm family of 10 kids. We grew up about 150 miles southwest of Chicago, in northern Illinois. Half of us are now gone, but between them, their kids, and now their grandkids, I probably write several hundred letters - real letters - a year. I have a younger brother who lives in Culcairn. He and his wife have five adult children, each of whom have kids. I try to keep in touch with birthday and anniversary cards/notes. In addition, I write to family members in the US, colleagues, and friends. A couple of years ago, the US Postal Service increased the cost of a first-class stamp by 2c. For several years now, I've paid more in that marginal cost for each letter I write than do many major American corporations pay in income taxes for an entire year - and I don't mean the total cost of stamps, but the recent marginal increase in the price of one first-class stamp. Maybe American public policy prefers underwriting greed than in preserving its postal system. Family and preserving family connections are important - at least rhetorically - but evidently profits trump those worthy intangibles. But the redeeming factor for me is that a dollar invested in postage, whether to someone in Aussie Land or in the States, is an eminently worthy investment."
Anne laments the demise of the letter: "I went to boarding school and every Friday night we were obliged to sit together and write home. Our letters were read and the grammar and spelling (and sometimes content) corrected by the sister on duty. It was variously gruelling and cathartic but 50-odd years later it has left me appreciating the joy of sending and receiving a 'real' letter. Email and text have their place but a condolence note electronically? The nuns would be turning in their graves! What a sad thing the demise of the letter and the little extra time and love it embodied."
Nica says: "So true. My mother saved every one of the aerogrammes I sent her from India in 1968. I still have them so my grandchildren will be able to read that tiny writing. Thank you for all your writing."
Karis still puts pen to paper: "What a beautiful article. Being old, I choose letters sometimes because: a message becomes a diary over a week or more; to include a gumtree twig or cockatoo feather; because mistakes are rare in letters but frequent in emails; to record memories or family stories."
Duncan says: "I can't help thinking that the problem with Australia Post is governments trying to treat a community service like a for profit business (same with the NBN, Sydney Water, rail asset holding companies, ex-Telstra etc) for paper accounting reasons. Australia Post's deliveries (letters, parcels, whatever) are an important service for a wide range of people, each with some sort of natural monopoly protection and should not be expected to make a profit in all circumstances."
Old Donald shares fond memories: "The demise of the post office into a glorified mini market, and the postie into a few times a week with little to deliver anyway is a sad reflection on modern life for us oldies. Mum had a Rhodesian penfriend for almost 70 years - they never met or even spoke, but her excitement when a letter from Phyllis arrived was palpable. We all felt as if we knew that family from some faraway land and we grew with them. People married, people were born, people died - a sort of miniature Blue Hills for Mum. When Phyllis's daughter wrote to tell Mum of Phyl's passing I recall Mum's devastation. A postal note at Christmas from an aunt for maybe 2 and 6, or even five bob, accompanied by a card with a tight load of information, was a sensation. Gone, John, all gone, and surely by many of us sadly missed. You have made me terribly nostalgic this morning with your demonstration of the power of letter writing. I felt it was for me and this reply represents my gratitude."