Anyone who knows me knows I'm a sucker for a good set of biceps. There's nothing more, perhaps titillating is the proper word for this middle-aged woman to use, than placing a hand lightly upon someone's upper arm and feeling something hard. Apologies ahead of time if this is how I inadvertently greet you next time we meet up. I've noticed I've become something of a toucher, given these fleeting moments are sometimes the only physical contact I get all week.
But I digress. Back to biceps. Oh William, my future king. Did anyone see the photograph of our prince getting his Covid vaccination? He posted it on their official Instagram account recently and perhaps it was just good lighting, or Will was flexing, or both, but he was displaying a very fine right arm.
It set hearts a'fluttering on social media ... and all this on top of him being voted the World's Sexiest Bald Man, beating the likes of Jason Statham, Dwyane "The Rock" Johnston and Bruce Willis.
When did this transformation of William begin to take place? I dare suggest it has something to do with the decline of little brother Harry. William always used to the one that was a little, well, is wimpy the right word? He was always very proper and upright while Harry was gallivanting around in Afghanistan and at London parties with a gorgeous young blonde thing. But since he's been with Meghan - don't get me started - Harry's just lost that spark. You only had to see the photos of him, humming away, arms folded, doing his reprocessing therapy, to know which brother was lighting more fires, so to speak.
Look, I feel sorry for Harry, I really do. Who knows what the poor bugger is going through, but enough already. If you want a private life, delete Oprah's number from your phone and get on with it.
Literally just roll up your sleeves and show us some bicep and move on.
But this isn't a story about the royal brothers. It's a discussion of what makes someone "look" like a leader. By all reports, the British press are in raptures that William is starting to look more like a king. Strong, capable, just a little sexy, like a man in charge, in the royal court, and perhaps even other smaller more intimate rooms in the palace.
I started to think about which Australian leaders fit this bill. It was hard work. So I turned to my knowledgeable friends on both sides of the political spectrum. I thought this was important. Does one's allegiance to a political party automatically make their side more attractive?
It was a bit sad that while Justin Trudeau, Barack Obama and John Fitzgerald Kennedy were mentioned once or twice, the only Australian politicians to make the list were Andrew Fisher (who was prime minister three times between 1908 and 1915, he died in 1928) and Chris Watson (who was PM in 1904, died 1941). A quick Google of their faces proved my friends correct. I might have to head back to the Museum of Australian Democracy's exhibition Onetoeight: Australia's first prime ministers in a different frame of mind. Spunks both.
The only two recent PMs to get a mention were Paul Keating and Bob Hawke. While he did nothing for me I can see how Keating's very being would be attractive to certain women. There was a confident arrogance completely backed by a firm belief in his intelligence. And he wore nice suits.
Hawkey I completely get. The cheek, the magnetism, the hair. He was sexy when he was with Hazel, he was sexy when he was with Blanche, he was even sexy, and perhaps a little flirtatious, with Annabel Crabb when she interviewed him for the fourth series of Kitchen Cabinet in 2014. The way he handled that barramundi.
But perhaps Hawke was the sexiest of all our prime ministers because he actually cared about women. When he came to power in 1983 his party's agenda included the most detailed set of commitments to Australian women ever developed. At that time it was not unlawful to sack women who married or became pregnant, or just because they were women. Maternity leave was rare, women could not get home loans, few women went into higher education.
Under Hawke's leadership the Sex Discrimination Act 1984 was passed; child maintenance payments from fathers who had left the family were guaranteed; Indigenous, migrant, disabled and older women were cared for through different reforms. Susan Ryan became the first woman in a federal Labor government and Mary Gaudron became the first female high court judge.
Hawkey was sexy because he listened to women and he genuinely seemed to care about their plight. There is nothing sexier than a man who likes women.
And that's why there's no current politicians on this list.