You can see Chris Feauai-Sautia's mind go into overdrive as he rattles off the list of injuries he thought would end his Super Rugby career.
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"Knees, four shoulders, ACL, MCL, two syndesmosis, and a lot of hamstrings. So yeah, a lot of injuries," the two-time Wallaby said.
Every time there was a voice in the back of his head telling him it was all over, telling him the blossoming career of a schoolboy prodigy was gone, telling him it was time to hang up the boots without ever truly realising his potential.
But now that voice is gone, replaced by the sound of ACT Brumbies coach Dan McKellar calling his name at training this week.
At 28, Feauai-Sautia has a chance to reignite his Super Rugby career after being named on the Brumbies' bench to face the Fijian Drua at Canberra Stadium on Saturday.
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It's a moment the former Queensland Reds wunderkind thought may never come as packed his bags for France in 2020.
"It was very hard. Every time I had a major injury, I had a voice in the back of my head saying 'I could be done right here'," Feauai-Sautia said.
"I actually did, I thought my time in Super Rugby was done. I thought I was just going to be a one-club man. Dan gave me the opportunity to come down and I'm really grateful for it.
"It means everything. Obviously I didn't think I was going to be back in this spot playing Super Rugby again, but it means everything. I've come back to Australia to try to push all of the players in front of me. Obviously I'm an older guy now, so I've got to try to keep up with the younger guys.
"To come back, I'm very grateful, and obviously the Brumbies gave me the opportunity to come back so I want to do my part for the team."
Feauai-Sautia remains Australia's equal-highest capped schoolboys representative. His mark of 11 Tests at schoolboy level set across three years is a mark unlikely to be beaten.
He was seemingly destined for the big stage as a youngster, before injuries derailed his career. Cut by the Reds almost two years ago, Feauai-Sautia tried to revive his career at Oyonnax in France.
Back in Canberra, McKellar was searching for an experienced head to bolster his back line. He found his man in Feauai-Sautia, a devastating winger who will cover the midfield in a role akin to that held by Solomone Kata during his stint in the capital.
But the Brumbies' work was only beginning. Feauai-Sautia needed to be rebuilt long before he could be called upon for his club debut against the "unorthodox" Drua.
Feauai-Sautia knows its something of a cliché in rugby circles to say you're feeling as fit as ever, but for him it rings true after undergoing a carefully curated pre-season program.
The Brumbies know he won't play every game, nor he will even power through 100 per cent of their training program - and that's exactly why they believe they can get the best out of him.
"To be honest, I'm not trying to bag out the Reds, but it's really different down here. I've never really had it," Feauai-Sautia said.
"I always thought 'I think that's me' whenever I had a major injury. When I went over to France I saw how bad it was over there, how they manage their players.
"I'd heard good things about the Brumbies so I wanted to come and give it a try here. It's the best I've felt in my career so hats off to them.
"How they manage the boys' training loads, especially with my history, they've been really good with it.
"The program is really different to what I'm used to. They've just looked after the players loading-wise. Obviously pre-season is really hard, but we've been looked after. They've thought really hard about the program. Everyone looks fit and strong for the season.
"I'm pretty excited to get back and involved in Super Rugby again. I always wanted to come back and challenge myself."
SUPER RUGBY PACIFIC ROUND TWO
Saturday: ACT Brumbies v Fijian Drua at Canberra Stadium, 2.35pm. Tickets from Ticketek. Broadcast live on Stan.
Brumbies squad: 1. James Slipper, 2. Lachlan Lonergan, 3. Allan Alaalatoa (c), 4. Darcy Swain, 5. Nick Frost, 6. Rob Valetini, 7. Rory Scott, 8. Pete Samu, 9. Ryan Lonergan, 10. Noah Lolesio, 11. Andy Muirhead, 12. Irae Simone, 13. Len Ikitau, 14. Tom Wright, 15. Tom Banks. Reserves: 16. Billy Pollard, 17. Scott Sio, 18. Tom Ross, 19. Ed Kennedy, 20. Jahrome Brown, 21. Nic White, 22. Chris Feauai-Sautia, 23. Jesse Mogg.
Drua squad: 1. Kaliopasi Uluilakepa, 2. Tevita Ikanivere, 3. Samuela Tawake, 4. Isoa Nasilasila, 5. Ratu Rotuisolia, 6. Vilive Miramira, 7. Kitione Salawa, 8. Nemani Nagusa (c), 9. Simione Kuruvoli, 10. Caleb Muntz, 11. Vinaya Habosi, 12. Kalaveti Ravouvou, 13. Apisalome Vota, 14. Onisi Ratave, 15. Baden Kerr. Reserves: 16. Mesulame Dolokoto, 17. Timoci Sauvoli, 18. Manasa Saulo, 19. Te Ahiwaru Cirikidaveta, 20. Meli Derenalagi, 21. Joseva Tamani, 22. Peni Matawalu, 23. Napolioni Bolaca
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