I'd almost be happy with a TV and a heater at my outdoor seat in the media area of Canberra Stadium.
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After 12 years' listening to all the talk about a new stadium in the capital, I'm almost resigned to that being the best we can hope for.
ACT Chief Minister Andrew Barr's sudden backflip on a Civic Stadium has a lot of Canberrans scratching their heads.
For years he's extolled the virtues of a city venue and the vibrancy it can bring back to the capital.
Adelaide Oval and its footbridge. The Docklands. Parramatta. All shining examples of the economic and social benefits that a new stadium can bring.
But all of a sudden Barr's now talking about revamping Canberra Stadium instead.
All of a sudden we face a choice between a 30,000-seater out at Bruce or 20,000 in the city venue. (The former allows international football to come to Canberra. The latter doesn't.)
That's despite The Canberra Times revealing the ACT government's own feasibility study gave the big thumbs up to a 25,000-seater in the heart of Canberra.
Sure, it might need federal government approval to move Parkes Way a coupla metres to get the go ahead. But now we've got Albo on the Hill and he's pledged to be Canberra's best mate.
For years it was all about a Civic Stadium.
Bars and restaurants would be rubbing their hands together at all the new business on game days as NRL, Super Rugby and - hopefully soon - A-League fans bring a buzz before and after the game.
Not to mention we might actually get some top bands back to Canberra. (Apologies Frenzal Rhomb, I do think you're good too.)
But one thing after another was holding us back. Mostly it was a lack of cabbage as variety after variety of cabbage moth descended on us like a biblical plague to gobble up all the government's green.
First Mr Fluffy, accompanied by the Coalition government backflipping on an agreement to pay for the clean up of the asbestos debacle, delayed the stadium.
Then it was a tram and hospitals that pushed it back.
Then it was PM Scomo and a government that only had money to buy off marginal seats in other parts of Australia, while Labor-stronghold Canberra shivered through a long, cold winter of non-existent funding.
Now it seems a Civic Stadium is still too expensive. Now we should be bracing for a "staged renewal of the existing Canberra Stadium" instead. Apparently it could be the "best value-for-money option".
That's despite Albo promising to bring a big truckload of cabbage from his election party to make the ACT great again.
But a rebuilt Canberra Stadium still has the same problems. It's still in the middle of nowhere. There's still nothing to do out there before or after games.
Not to mention the fact both stands need to be knocked down and brought in 30 metres to bring the fans within seeing distance of the field.
That means years of either fans going to a building site to watch games or our sporting teams having to find a new home while it's done.
Which brings us to Canberra's Obi-Wan Kenobi. Aka Senator David Pocock. Aka the former ACT Brumbies Jedi knight.
His emergence as the most powerful person in Australia is seemingly our best hope of a Civic Stadium.
Maybe he can be the voice of reason that ends this madness that's seemingly leading us to rebuilding Bruce.
Things have gotten that dire Canberra sports fans are even turning to Google Maps to find some free land where a stadium might fit. Southwell Park. Football Park near Woden.
Someone stop the madness. It should be Civic or bust.
In the meantime, I'll buy my own TV and heater and see if I can sneak it past security.