Nineteen words. That's all Ellie Brush can muster before her voice starts to crack.
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Standing in the shade of a tree in Deakin, and shuffling her feet in the yellow autumn leaves that have fallen early, the realisation hits home of a 20-year career coming to an end.
"It's been my life," the Canberra United foundation captain says, trying to hold back tears.
Then, as the assembled coaches, former teammates, staff and media fall so silent you can hear the crunch of the leaves under Brush's feet, she really breaks down.
Not because she's sad about what she's leaving behind after two decades on the field, starting with the Canberra Eclipse before signing a $500 contract (for the entire season) when the W-League started.
She breaks down because her parents are just to the left of the television cameras. Her father Paul in a wheelchair as he battles stage-four brain cancer. He was given two years to live, but has defied the odds and is now into a third even though his health is deteriorating quickly.
Her mum Margaret standing by his side, then stepping forward with a tissue mid press conference to wipe away her daughter's tears. "I knew I shouldn't have worn Mascara today," Brush says, managing a laugh between tears.
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"I had two years of bad knee injuries and that could have easily been it, but I suppose the competitiveness and determination in me wanted to try and get back to the highest level," Brush said.
"It weighed heavily on me, I really wanted to give it another shot and for it to have come full circle, to have my last season in front of friends and family, where it all started, is how I wanted to do it. And mum and dad are here."
Everyone's got tears in their eyes by now as Margaret comes forward and then Brush continues.
"They've been the reason," she says. "Mum and Dad have been the reason I've been able to do as much as I have. Dad will tell you he taught me everything I know.
"His health isn't good. I wanted to have this season back in front of him and mum and for my [wife] Kristy to allow us to come back to Canberra and bring [son] Leo is really special.
"To have the whole family together and to be able to do it for them ... they've done so much for me. To sort of finish on my own terms and have one last season with Canberra [is amazing].
"Life is bigger than sport. You do it for your family, and this is the way I wanted to do it. In front of mum and dad, it kind of feels right."
It seemed as though Brush's body would dictate her ability to play in the A-League Women's competition after she ruptured her anterior cruciate ligament twice while playing for Sydney FC.
She spent almost two years on the sidelines, which was torture for a talented athlete who could have played cricket, soccer or Australian football at the highest level. In the end she settled on soccer, and then dabbled in AFLW with the GWS Giants.
But a return to Canberra United is where the journey finishes, and coach Njegosh Popovich says she has a big role to play as the team chase a finals berth in the coming weeks.
"We hope this isn't the end for Brushy," Popovich said. "We see this as a new beginning for her and maybe taking up a mentor role, or some coaching roles.
"A lot of our players maybe lost their way in terms of understanding what Canberra United is and what our brand represents. I think Ellie's a very, very good mentor in that space."
Brush has watched women's sport evolve over the past 20 years. She started on $500 a season as the captain, now the minimum A-League Women's wage is almost $21,000.
Still, it hasn't made it easy. She works at the Canberra Physio Clinic in between juggling daycare drop-offs and training duties. So while women's sport and conditions for female athletes have improved, it still feels like it hasn't gone far enough.
"That's a good way to put it. Maybe I chose the wrong sport when I had to choose between cricket and soccer when I was 15 years old," Brush said.
"I'm glad I've paved the way and soccer has come as far as it has, it's come a long way. We're not full-time athletes and I've got to work and live with another job alongside other players.
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"Those sacrifices, it's too hard to continue to play for subpar salary and trying to make ends meet at the same time as trying to raise a family.
"I kept playing for the love of the game and I'm glad I did because I can go out on my terms.
"It's been too much of a sacrifice for Kristy and I've already missed a bit of Leo's growth. There comes a time where you have to stop making other people sacrifice. Professional sport is a selfish thing, and it's time [to finish]."
Canberra are battling for fourth spot on the ladder and need to win to keep play-off chances alive.
"I'd love nothing more than to go out as a champion," Brush said.
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