If money, religion and politics are conversational taboos, why can't marital status be as well?

No problem, it's not that unusual a question. I said I wasn't and assumed the conversation would move on. It didn't. The driver seemed baffled, and not in a flattering "How-could-a-great-catch-like-you-be-single?" way. He kept asking questions, variations on the theme, sometimes repeatedly. Have you ever been married? Do you have a girlfriend? Why not? Do you have any kids? I politely deflected with simple responses - no, not everybody is, not everybody does, and the like. It was painfully awkward and I was glad when the trip ended.

I'm not sure why he was so fixated on the subject. Did he wonder if I was gay (not that that means I couldn't be married, of course)? Did he think everyone was, or should be married? None of these were avenues I wanted to go down. At least he didn't follow up by, after ascertaining I was single, asking if he could set me up with his daughter (and have him for a father-in-law? No thanks.)

It's not that I minded him asking the question in a chatty, conversational way: ask, get the answer, move on to something else. But he kept on pressing the matter.

MUST READS:

There are questions and lines of inquiry that really shouldn't be pursued, especially, but not only, with people you don't know. Not that I can pretend to be pure in this regard. I've asked couples if they planned to have children and, even if the question was well-intended and I know the people well, it is probably better not asked. Maybe they don't want to (and with the world the way it is, who could blame them?), maybe they can't. Whatever, it's their business. "Why do you want to know?" can be a useful rejoinder to an intrusive question.

Money, religion and politics are supposed to be taboos, though some people are happy to discuss their wealth if they have plenty (bragging? social competitiveness?). Where you live can be paraded as a status symbol, though I confess to finding the Canberra northside/southside debate tiresome.

Religion is less of a social divider than it used to be in the bad old I'm Protestant/you're Catholic days. If anything, the split nowadays seems to be between (some of) the religious and the non-religious. But it's probably a subject best avoided unless you know the people involved. A non-believer myself, I've had some stimulating discussions with certain religious friends and avoid the subject with others.

As for politics - well, this is Canberra. It's delicate but sometimes hard to avoid. Not being a public servant I don't know what the etiquette is there. I'm too sceptical to be partisan.

I'm not much for talking about myself and have found the journalistic experience helpful: ask people about themselves. Not nosy, prying questions, just simple ones that show you're interested in them, what they do, and so forth. Most people like talking about themselves, at least on certain subjects. Listening - really listening - is underrated and not as common as it should be.

Just tread cautiously. As noted above, it's a conversational minefield out there. And you never know when you'll misspeak.

Our journalists work hard to provide local, up-to-date news to the community. This is how you can continue to access our trusted content: