Work hard, and good things will come. This is what we are all told in school. It's all about working hard, putting in the effort, dedicating yourself, applying your intellect, engaging ... can you think of any more cliches? I'm sure there are more out there. But essentially, the onus is all on us - we are the masters of our own destiny, blah blah blah.
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Talk about heaping a pile of pressure on a person! If we don't initially succeed, that subsequently means all the blame should rest firmly on our shoulders, right?
We should have worked harder, studied harder, tried harder, which leads to feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, and more than likely, despondency, especially if we don't succeed on the second or third go either.
Nothing stunts growth like the burden of failure and self-blame. What very few people seem to talk about is that success is a highly complex construct.
Its very definition is hard to pin down as it often looks different to everybody.
Perhaps for you, success is finishing something, or being recognised for something, being promoted, or elected, or even hired.
Here, YOU define what success means, and thus your innate sense of success is shaped only by how you perceive it and work towards attaining it.
But then, there's also the external impression of success: how do you measure up to what "society" considers to be successful? Are you wearing the "right" clothes? Do you drive the "right" make of car? Do you live in the "right" suburb? The difference here is that success is defined by its appearance, the supposed effects of success.
But at its root, it's a very singular definition: external impression of success is driven by equating it with wealth. We all know that we can work our tails off, do everything we're "supposed" to do, and still not be successful by society's standards.
Watching the NBL's "play-in" game on Sunday as an avid (and proud) Perth Wildcats supporter made this concept of working hard and not quite making it palpable. They lost to the Cairns Taipans, and with this loss, their season came to an end, while the Taipans continue on, one step closer to winning the Championship. Cairns played really well, they worked hard, they dedicated themselves to their game plan and despite missing two key players from their line-up, they brought the fire to the court and charged through to the next round.
But, does this mean that Perth failed in NBL23? Did they not work hard enough? Did they not dedicate themselves enough? Did they not train enough
The press conference post-match certainly showed raw emotion in both the coach, John Rillie, and the captain, Jesse Wagstaff's body language. Rillie said that he didn't become coach to finish sixth on the ladder and everything about his demeanour demonstrated disappointment, and a keen sense of failure. One of the things I love about Rillie is that he is always honest; he's a straight shooter.
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But I think this press conference really showed us the impact of equating external impressions of success to innate success on your own terms. The team overcame so many obstacles to pull together and really dedicate themselves to the work ahead of them. They learned each other's games, they fostered bonds between them, hell, they even reunited family by bringing Tai Webster to the team to play with his brother Corey.
The last couple of years have been far from clear sailing for Perth. They've had three coaches in three years, changed the line-up significantly, and they've had a really challenging schedule. But every game, they left everything out there on the court. Does this mean the season was a failure?
We often forget to factor in the external elements at play when judging our success. We forget about luck, privilege, external support, elements beyond our control, and the hard work of others gunning for competing goals. If just one or two of those three pointer attempts had fallen for us, perhaps it would have been a different story.
Our success doesn't just rely on our own hard work - it requires multiple factors to fall into place along the way.
Sometimes, it just isn't meant to be. After all, if success was easy, it wouldn't be worth pursuit, would it?
- Zoë Wundenberg is a careers consultant and un/employment advocate at impressability.com.au, and a regular columnist for ACM.