Matt Giteau reckons his "quad is hanging on by a thread". Adam Ashley-Cooper might have torn his calf, and Drew Mitchell "has done everything".
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But not before Giteau scored with his first touch, Mitchell scored a runaway intercept try and Ashley-Cooper folded ball runners like he was still in his heyday.
The three former Wallabies might just be the greatest 10-12-13 combination in ACT rugby fourth grade history.
Together they helped the Queanbeyan Whites to a 61-7 win over the Goulburn Dirty Reds at Campese Field on Saturday, pulling on the boots again for a good cause.
Queanbeyan wore one-off commemorative jerseys to raise awareness for Win The Day - the charity Kristy Giteau built to help families struggling with a loved one who has a rare cancer.
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Kristy Giteau and Sok Tai's daughter Ka'ili was diagnosed with the rare Wilms' tumour in her kidney in July 2019. She has undergone chemotherapy, radiation and a bone marrow transplant - but she still has the smile to light up a room.
A Whites return has been a long time coming for Giteau.
So it was him telling Mitchell and Ashley-Cooper where to go for strapping when they arrived. Whatever you need, he's got you, he told them.
"So, everything?" Ashley-Cooper replied before tucking into a pre-game beer and pie as if it were his Wallabies debut, when he was pulled straight out of the grandstand before kick-off.
Giteau still looks every bit the athlete. He's the kind of bloke who runs bronco tests for fun, so of course he was the first to score.
"I knew I was off the nudie run. You try not to go too hard, you want to cruise into it, but sometimes that instinct kicks in," Giteau said.
Then it was Mitchell finding himself in open space. How did he feel given he hadn't played for six years, or even sprinted for three?
"That was the last thing I wanted," Mitchell laughed.
"I was happy to play in the tighter stuff because you can't get exposed too much. People probably expect me to have some type of speed still, but I don't. The last thing I wanted was that intercept and for someone to chase me all the way to the end. I made it."
Ashley-Cooper lasted the longest, so how did he pull up?
"The feelings were mixed, because I wasn't ready so there was a fair amount of anxiety as opposed to excitement," Ashley-Cooper said.
"I haven't touched the ball in about 12 months, so I was nervous for the body to get through it, and I've done my calf halfway through the first half. It's great to be involved in such a great cause, raising awareness and supporting families going through that childhood cancer battle.
"Drew saw a lot of contact. We've all come off with a few bumps and bruises. Gits did his quad, Drew has done everything. At the end of the day, it's for charity."
Rarely would you have seen so many people on hand to watch a fourth grade rugby game.
But the music truck at the end of the field, the colourful assortment of balloons lining that same end of the ground and the star attractions mingling with the crowd during the game meant this one would transcend just another rugby game.
"I'm incredibly proud of my sister and Sok for what they've created, what they went through, and what they've got to show for their journey," Giteau said.
"It's a very special day, and I've loved being a part of it. I'd love to do it again next year.
"I really enjoyed it, it's a great group of guys. Fourth grade is very special, they play for the right reasons, it means a lot to them and they don't even know the family too well.
"My very last game I played with Coopy and we won the title in America. It's a little bit more special to round it out and have Drew there, and also my younger brother, and Sok, and Levi running the tee for me, this is my boy."
So, any chance Giteau was hanging around to sit on the bench for first grade?
"I'll sit there, I don't mind sitting there," Giteau laughed, "I won't be playing."
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